Key West Packing List

Books

Short of England or Ireland or Manhattan there’s no island anywhere that’s the subject of more literary output than Key West. It runs from the sublime, Wallace Steven’s The Idea of Order at Key West, to the famously bad, Hemingway’s To Have and Have Not, to the fine, 92 in the Shade, to the sublimely ridiculous, Dave Barry’s Trip to Key West.

But what Key West and Florida generally are best known for is crime novels. If Oxford, England, has the most literary murders per capita of anywhere in the world, Key West must run it a close second. In novels by Randy Wayne White, Carl Hiassen, Lucy Burdette, Laurence Shames, Tim Dorsey, James W. Hall, and Michael Reisig (and I’m surely leaving some scribblers out) there are folk committing murders and mayhem and whatnot at a fierce pace down in the Keys. I don’t remember any John D. McDonald or Elmore Leonard novels set in the Keys, McDonald was Lauderdale and Leonard Miami, but if there aren’t they should get busy and posthumously take care of that. The remarkable thing about Florida crime fiction isn’t that it’s very good (and some of it is), but how little of anything else good is written about Florida. God is causing the Keys to sink under the ocean either because he thinks all those novels are true, or maybe because they are all true enough.

So I listened to a bunch of crime novels, particularly by Laurence Shames. They’re all entertaining (if not quite the thing as travel guides). I also read Jack E. Davis’s very fine Pulitzer Prize history of the Gulf of Mexico, Gulf: The Making of the American Sea. I can’t remember where or when I bought the book. It was on my bedside table and I was thinking about Mississippi and Florida so I read it. It didn’t have one of those gold stickers on the dust jacket that told me it was important, and I was mostly through it before I realized it was not just any old book but an Anointed Prize Winner.

As much as I’d read and thought about Louisiana last year Davis highlighted my limits. I didn’t think about the destruction of the marshes or deep water drilling or inshore damage from chemical production or the great agricultural dead zone in the Gulf, which are things that should be first to mind. I hit my personal dead zone. For Houstonians the environmental damage to the Gulf is so personal, so much both a part of and separated from our daily lives and so much of our own damn fault that it’s forgotten. We trust oil and chemical companies because we are oil and chemical companies. I loved the first 300 pages of Mr. Davis’s book. I suffered during the last 200.

When I went to my annual physical this week Dr. White and I talked about the book. Last year we talked about the new Ulysses S. Grant biographies and David Brion Davis’s Inhuman Bondage: my annual physical is my annual book club. Anyway we talked about the devastation at the end of Gulf and he told me not to worry about it because he was convinced humanity was doomed anyway. It was oddly comforting. Don’t worry that we’re destroying the planet because it’ll sort itself out after we’re gone.

There were two other minor take-aways from Gulf: Davis (Jack E., not David Brion) quoted off and on from the poet Sydney Lanier, particularly his Florida travel guide but also from his poems, and he wrote at length about the apparently mad painter, Walter Anderson. Lanier I knew as a Confederate soldier because of a local school-naming kerfuffle, but Anderson I didn’t know at all. I’d like to know more about both, but thus far I’ve found Lanier unreadable. It’s something I need to work on.

Rental Car

In Florida we rented a Nissan Rogue from National. Before last September I rented cars from Budget, mostly out of habit and because I always remembered which rental counter to go to. After bad rental experiences in Portland and Baltimore I looked online for car company reviews. I switched to National. I didn’t think it would make much difference, but in Chicago, Hawaii, and now Florida, they’ve been remarkable. They’ve been what customer service should be, and I’ll pay the few additional dollars to National for the customer care.

Meanwhile the Rogue had adaptive cruise control, which unlike when it startled me in Hawaii I expected. For the drive from Lauderdale to the Keys it was the best thing ever. Ever. I’ve seen worse drivers than South Floridians, in Naples and Mexico City the drivers are lawless and remorseless and mad, but South Florida drivers are their own peculiar brand of awful. There seems always to be a septuagenarian cranking 45 in the passing lane while a 20-year old in a Dodge Whatnot screams right and left through traffic, and all of it bordered by lines of 18-wheelers. Plus general heavy traffic and road work. It’s special. The adaptive cruise control helped sort things out.

Fly Fishing Stuff

Given that this was nominally a fly fishing trip I should be telling you what gear we used. We took some reels. We took some rods. Our guide, Andrew Asher, tied a crab pattern onto the 10 wt., and then we didn’t use anything but a 10. We didn’t use any other rod or fly until late in the day when I tried to cast for barracuda.

It was a beautiful day. There was some sun. There was some wind. There was some clear water. I think I’ll go again.

Bakeries

Glazed Donuts on Eaton St. in Key West has great donuts, and if you buy six they give you a box (so of course one always goes for the free stuff). That’s a bittersweet dark chocolate, and the key lime is filled with key lime pie. Quite an accomplishment.

Playlist

You know the Beach Boys are from California, that George Gershwin was from New York, and notwithstanding his current residence in Hawaii Willie Nelson is from Texas. You know the Allman Brothers are from Georgia, but they’re not. The Allmans are from Jacksonville.

You know that Jimmy Buffett is from Florida (except that he’s from Mississippi), and he’s defined how Florida is supposed to sound (which really isn’t quite to my taste), and Arturo Sandoval sounds like Miami, but all in all there’s not much there there when it comes to Florida music. There are great musicians–the Allmans, Sandoval, the Mavericks, Tom Petty, Ray Charles–and travesties, NSync and the Backstreet Boys and Lynyrd Skynyrd, but other than what came out of Cuba or Buffett there’s nothing that says Florida.

The Allman Brothers Band, 1973, from Wikipedia. Those were the days.
  • Dean Martin, Powder Your Face With Sunshine. This really isn’t about Florida, but I found it on a Florida song list. This is what Florida should sound like.
  • Zac Brown Band, Toes. This song is the love child of Jimmy Buffet and Michael Franks performed by a Georgia country and western band.
  • Jesse Harris, Secret Sun. Pretty.
  • Frank Sinatra, Let’s Get Away from It All. A useful song that mentions every state except Nevada. Ok. I’m lying. It doesn’t mention Hawaii or Alaska either, since there were only 48 states when it was recorded.
  • Nanci Griffith and Mac McAnally, Gulf Coast Highway. This was on a list of Florida songs, and it’s lovely, but it’s about Texas. Willie Nelson and Emmylou Harris cover it, which is the best,
  • Enrique Iglesias, Ballando. This is what Miami sounds like in the soundtrack in my head.
  • U2, Miami.  John Mellencamp, Miami. Counting Crows, Miami. They’re all different songs. The Counting Crows is the best of the lot.
  • Mel Tillis. Tillis is Florida’s most famous country & western singer, and he predates modern Nashville production. If you listen in the car you can pretend you’re driving a big rig coast-to-coast in 1969. For so long, I wanted you/To be my pretty queen./Now you’re mine, my purty one,/You filled my every dream.
  • The Allman Brothers. You can’t have enough Allman Brothers. I even made Kris listen to the entire 44 minutes of Mountain Jam. I think that will get us into the Guinness Book of World Records.
  • Tom Petty. You can’t have enough Tom Petty, but I did erase that song about zombies from my phone. What was he thinking?
  • Gram Parsons. GP. Everything’s better with Emmylou Harris.
  • Cannonball Adderly. In addition to Arturo Sandoval, Archie Shepp and the Adderly brothers, Nat and Cannonball, are from Florida. That’s pretty good jazz. I grew up with Adderly’s Work Song, and it makes me smile every time I hear it.
Nat and Cannonball Adderley, John Levin Enterprises-management/photographer-Bruno of Hollywood, 1961, reported on Wikipedia as public domain, but if not they can come get me.
  • Archie Shepp. Shepp was born in Florida, but raised in Philadelphia. I guess his connection to Florida is pretty tenuous, but that’s ok. So is mine.
  • Arturo Sandoval. I saw Sandoval and his band a couple of years ago, and he’s a master. He’s Cuban, and closely tied to Dizzy Gillespie. He sounds like Miami.
  • Jimmy Buffett. I’d rather not, but you have to. It’s state law, with stiff penalties for violation.
  • John Vanderslice, Romanian Names. Whenever Vanderslice came up on the play list I thought there’s nothing else in Florida that sounds like this. If I’d been playing a Brooklyn play list I would have thought, oh, another one of those guys. In some ways Florida is more mid-America than Kansas.
  • Lynyrd Skynyrd, What’s Your Name? This is why we should all despise Lynyrd Skynyrd. What a stupid idea for a song. It makes one think that Mr. Young was right after all.
  • Matchbox Twenty, How Far We’ve Come. This is why we should all despise Matchbox Twenty, if we have any clue who they are.
  • The Mavericks. Who knew the Mavericks were from Florida?
  • Ray Charles. Who knew Ray Charles was from Florida?

Coming back from Key West on the Overseas Highway we listened to Debussy’s La Mer (which was a bit oceanic for the calm seas) and two or three versions of Charles Trenet’s La Mer. It gave the drive a very French cast.

I took a guitar, but we went to bars instead.

Joe Kalima's bonefishing dachshund, Molokai, Hi.

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