Tag: Museums

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Rhode Island Packing List

Gear

We took three rods, two 9-foot 8-weights with floating lines and a 9-foot 9-weight with an intermediate line, a line that sinks just a bit below the surface. Mostly we fished with the 8-weights, but I used the 9-weight some in the fog when I was blind casting in deeper water. I caught my fish on my 8-weight, and the fish was strong enough to make me think a 9-weight might have been better.

Our guide, Ray Ramos, had suggested that we bring waders and boots in the likely event that the weather stayed bad. If it stayed bad we were going to try a bit of coastline casting. The water is still pretty cold in Rhode Island, and we’re not much used to cold, so we would have needed the waders. We never used them, which is good. No matter what Mr. Simms and Mr. Patagonia and Mr. Orvis tell you, waders are a nuisance.

When we left Ninigret Pond the second day, the pretty day, a UPS driver in shorts kidded us about our cool weather clothes and asked if we thought it was cold. We told him that we were from Houston, and that it was freezing. He told us we’d never survive the winters. I’d guess that’s about right.

A Word About Phil

Phil Shook writes about fly-fishing, and wrote Flyfisher’s Guide to Texas and Flyfisher’s Guide to Mexico, and co-wrote Fly-Fishing the Texas Coast. Phil also wrote Flyfisher’s Guide to the Northeast Coast, which covers New Jersey, New York, and Connecticut, right next to Rhode Island. Last week he sent me a photo of a clip from an article he wrote in 2010 for Eastern Fly Fishing, now American Fly Fishing, about fly fishing Ninigret Pond. I should have known to talk to Phil first.

From Phil Shook.

Hotels

The first time we went to Rhode Island we were in Newport on the weekend of the boat show. Newport is an upscale East Coast tourist destination, and it is the home to The America’s Cup. I reckon it’s the center of the sailboat universe. Every recreational sailor in North America was in Newport for the boat show, and it was tough to blanch for all the tans. Because of the crowds, prices were jacked, rooms were hard to come by, and there were people everywhere. It was a terrible time to be in Newport unless you sailed, and we paid an extravagant amount of money for a depressingly mediocre hotel room.

The second time we went prices were calmer, and we found a great old refurbished motor inn, The Sea Whale Motel. It was kinda cool and not too funky, reasonably central, and so much more likable than the first place we had stayed. For this trip I booked us again for the Sea Whale.

Except I didn’t. I booked us for the Blue Whale. You see what I did there? Sea Whale? Blue Whale? See how anybody could make that mistake? Well, I certainly see it.

I was a bit surprised when we followed the GPS directions from the airport and ended up an hour across Block Island Sound from Newport. The Blue Whale was tiny, and our room was a tinier part of that tiny. It was great though, and in that tiny room I did some world class sleeping. From the Blue Whale it was a quick, calm drive to Ninigret Pond, and much more convenient than Newport would have been. Prices at the Blue Whale were even cheaper than at the Sea Whale–of course it was a bit early for beach-goers, and beach-goers are the Blue Whale’s clientele.

I’m a great planner, and from now on I’m making all my lodging choices based on whether or not there’s a whale in the mix.

Restaurants

I’ve already written about the magnificence that are clam shacks: lobster rolls, fried clams, picnic tables, chowder . . . And we ate at two that were a stone’s throw from The Blue Whale Inn, Monahan’s and Salty’s. At Salty’s, Kris asked the girl at the counter what she liked best, and the girl said the hot lobster roll, at least she sort of said that. She actually said the hot lab-sta roll. I made her say it again it was so wonderful, but I had embarrassed her and she Midwesterned her accent.

I vaguely recall that there’s some reason that we’re not supposed to be eating lobster, over-fishing probably, but I figured eating lab-sta just once was ok.

My college roommate, Robert, had sent us a photo of the Matunuck Oyster Bar, ((At least that’s what I think Robert sent us. I couldn’t find the original email, but on my possibly-flawed memory of his advice we went to Matunuck Oyster Bar and it was great, so whatever he sent Robert gets the credit.)) and we made a reservation there for our first night. We almost canceled when saw their wall of advertising in the Providence airport–airport advertising isn’t something I’m prone to trust–but the place was wonderful. Northeastern oysters are different than our Gulf Coast oysters, smaller, firmer, brinier . . . I love Northeastern oysters. Of course I also love Gulf Coast oysters, Northwestern oysters, French oysters, McDonald’s French fries, and fried bologna. You can take my judgment for what it’s worth.

We had Northeastern oysters. We had steamer clams. I had striped bass because, after all, that’s what I was in town for. The place was crowded and noisy and happy and the food was delicious. ((If you’re keeping track, that photo below is another lobster roll for Kris. We also split a lobster roll the next day for lunch. I don’t think she ate any lobster rolls for breakfast, but I can’t be absolutely certain. If the lab-sta fishery collapses, I’m blaming her.))

The next afternoon after fishing and clam shacking we drove into Providence, about an hour north of Ninigret Pond. Providence itself isn’t very big. The current population estimate is 189,692, but the population of the metropolitan area is more than 1.6 million, so there are plenty of people in the area. Providence is old, founded in 1636 by Roger Williams, and it’s the home of Brown University and The Rhode Island School of Design. It was once ground zero for New England’s Mafia.

We found a parking place where the parking meter didn’t work, but then we parked anyway. I figured that if it took them decades to clean out the Mafia, then I didn’t have to worry about a couple of hours of illegal parking. We walked around Brown and went through the excellent Rhode Island School of Design Museum of Art–it’s small, but chock full of really great stuff. This, for instance, was the cover art on one of my college textbooks:

I think maybe it’s Roman, maybe older? Maybe Babylonian? I was excited to see it, but I was so worried that I had never finished my class reading that I forgot to check the signage.

Before we went back to The Some Whale Inn, we ate at Al Forno in Providence. In 1992 its chefs won one of the first Jame’s Beard awards, largely on the strength of their grilled pizza, and every few years like clockwork it gets a new nomination. Who doesn’t like pizza? And their grilled pizza is something strange and special. We ate grilled pizza. We split a roasted beet salad. We ate espresso-doused ice cream for desert. We watched the people around us eat other stuff and we envied them for what they’d ordered.

Playlist

The band Talking Heads came together at the Rhode Island School of Design, and I kept debating adding them to the Rhode Island playlist. I finally decided that each person is granted a certain measure of enjoyable Talking Heads listening, and after that the band passed their sell-by date. I think I passed my Talking Heads sell-by date somewhere in the early 80s.

You’d think that there wouldn’t be a lot of Rhode Island music to choose from, but here’s the thing; the Newport Jazz Festivals and Folk Festivals were incredibly influential, and if you just download a couple of festival compilations you’ll be set with a lot of great music. Somehow it is immensely satisfying to listen to “If I Had a Hammer” followed by Louis Armstrong singing “Mack the Knife.” I don’t care if any musician ever actually came from Rhode Island, so many musicians touched it that Rhode Island makes for a great playlist.

George M. Cohan was from Rhode Island, as were the Cowsills. On a side note, as a kid I saw the Cowsills at the Texas State Fair.

Guitar

I took a guitar, but I never played. Our hotel room was too small to open the case.

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Washington Playlist

What We Took

We took 7 wt and 8/9 wt. Beulah Spey rods.. We took skagit lines for both, and a variety of tips. We fished T-17 tips, whatever that means. The smaller rod was matched to a Hardy Marquis Salmon No. 2 reel, and for the larger I stripped a 12 wt floating tarpon line off of a Galvan Tournament Series Reel. They’re both pretty things. I’m a sucker for reels.

We put 8 wt Rio InTouch Salmon/Steelhead floating lines on two saltwater reels, both Tibor Everglades, and fished them on 9 foot 8 wt rods–Kris’s rods, a Helios 3 and a Helios 2. I got the Helios 2.

The Olympic Peninsula may be the last stronghold of boot-footed waders, the kind of waders with attached rubber boots instead of neoprene stockings worn under separate wading boots. Ryan the guide said that boot foot waders are warmer, and I believe it: my feet were always cold once I’d waded, notwithstanding the Darn Tough expedition socks and liners. Plus our boots never dried after we finished fishing, kicking my luggage over the 50 pound limit. “Happy Valentines” the nice lady at the Southwest Counter said when she didn’t charge me for overweight luggage.

I wore everything I had. Everything. The temperatures were warm enough, it was sunny and there was no wind, but I’m from Houston. I wore everything I had.

Victoria, B.C.

The Black Ball Ferry Line ferry, The Coho, runs from Port Angeles to Victoria. I hadn’t been on The Coho since 1962, when I was five, and my memory of it was somewhat spotty. Mostly I remember my sister being seasick, really, really seasick. So does she. We texted about it on the ferry, and I though she was going throw up by text.

We ate in one memorable restaurant, OLO, which is Chinook for hungry, and one less memorable restaurant, Little Jumbo, where I had fish in a sauce that reminded me of cream gravy. I like cream gravy. Loaded up with pepper and served on either biscuits or chicken fried steak it is the very thing, but cream gravy on grilled ling isn’t particularly successful. It was described on the menu as sunchoke cream, but cream gravy is cream gravy and you can’t fool me. It would have been better with some bacon grease.

We had afternoon tea at the Butchart Gardens, which even midwinter are beautiful, and midwinter have the advantage of no crowds. Afternoon tea is a thing in Victoria, and not having tea is punishable with heavy fines. They even ask at the border if you’ve had your tea. I suspect it magnifies their separation from the weird coffee concoctions on the other side of the border, but it also made me feel good. This was my kind of crowd. Afternoon tea is apparently a thing for the post-60s set.

In a bar, Bard and Banker, we ordered a dozen oysters that never came. Management should tell its servers that even raw oysters can’t walk from the kitchen. I watched ice hockey on the bar tv, so I knew I was in Canada. The Lightning won in overtime. I don’t know where the Lightning are from, or who they were playing.

The Royal B.C. Museum is spectacular, mostly because of the First Nation exhibits, both the past–these were pretty sophisticated people with pretty interesting stuff–and the present. Everywhere there are signs explaining that some of the objects are exhibited by treaty.

We had two very strange encounters.

I don’t smoke many cigars, but, when one can buy Cuban cigars one should buy a few, just in case any Cubans come to visit. When we were leaving the Cuban Cigar Shop the other customer was wearing an Astros cap. He was from Conroe, about 50 miles from Houston, and he was in Victoria building its first sewage treatment plant. This is a city of 350,000, and it’s never had a sewage treatment plant. It fine screens the sewage that otherwise goes straight to the ocean, trusting on currents and cold water to clean things up. I was kinda glad those oysters never got served.

Cohibas, the cigar that Castro smoked, are very good.

Victoria has its street life, it’s a walkable city with its best restaurants and shops and bars tightly packed around the port, so we walked. It’s grungier than I had expected, with a rough edge to its street life. Lots o’ street folk. Walking to OLO the first night a young guy on the street lunged at us . . .

And coughed, hacked, coughed hard, uncovered, clearly at us. It was a 21st century, post-coronavirus assault. Kris was shaken, I was angry, but if you just wanted to hassle people it was brilliant. Lunge and cough. Terrifying.

We stayed at the Best Western Plus Carlton Plaza. Nice enough, and central, but they didn’t have morning coffee in the lobby, which is unforgivable. We should have sprung for The Fairmont Empress.

Seattle, Wa.

In Seattle we had an early flight so we stayed near the airport. We walked around the Ballard neighborhood on the first day, trying to find oysters, and on our last evening ate at Matt’s in the Market, in the Pike Place Market, mostly because there were pictures of it all over the internet and it looked pretty. We wanted to see the Market, but by the time we got there from Victoria almost everything was\closed. Someday we’ll go back to Seattle for a baseball game. They did have coffee in the lobby of the Holiday Inn Express.

What We Didn’t Do

We didn’t eat at our acquaintance Jack’s barbecue place in Seattle. We didn’t spend much time in Seattle, and none in Vancouver. We didn’t see any baseball or catch a sea-run cutthroat trout. We didn’t do any yoga. We smoked no marijuana, though I started to ask the cluster of accountants outside the Pike Place Market for a toke. Really? Accountants? They had to be accountants. They looked like either accountants or lawyers, but tax lawyers.

What I Lost

I lost an Apple Air Pod, which left me with a case and a single Air Pod. Did you know that you can buy a single Air Pod from Apple? It’s not cheap, about $70, but cheaper than a new set.

I lost my Nikon waterproof point and shoot, with all the best pictures of our fishing trip. I’d decided to replace it with a new iPhone, but last night Jack Mitchell of the Evening Hatch texted that they’d found my camera. That’s a pretty good trip for me. Only one Air Pod lost. Only one fly rod broken.

Donuts

Empire Donuts in Victoria had good coffee, and a Star Wars theme. There was nothing wrong with the donuts. We went out of our way to go to Sidney Bakery, about 20 miles from Victoria but close enough to the Butchart Gardens to make it easy. It was an old-fashioned bakery, doing a great Wednesday morning business. I ordered a pecan roll so I could hear them mispronounce pee-can.

Playlist

There were 247 songs on my Seattle playlist. That’s a lot. There is a tremendous amount of great music from Seattle.

  • Songs titled “Seattle”: Sam Kim, Perry Como, Mary Mary, Felly, Public Image Ltd., Jackson Walker, Bobby Sherman. The Perry Como is a great example of bad choices. The Bobby Sherman is the same song, from a late-60s television series, Here Comes the Brides. The Public Image is the best of the lot, though I’m not sure what it has to do with Seattle. I’m pretty sure it had nothing to do with any television series.
  • Bands That Live in the Part of Seattle That’s Actually Greater Brooklyn: Band of Horses, Fleet Foxes, The Head and the Heart, Laura Love, Nieko Case, Death Cab for Cutie, the Highwomen, Brandi Carlile, Chastity Belt, Perfume Genius, Tacocat. I’m very fond of Fleet Foxes, who remind me of Bon Iver. Death Cab for Cutie is better than they should be. I thought Brandi Carlile was off of one of those tv talent competitions, but she’s not, and I was pleased to find her. Tacocat is the greatest name ever, and there need to be more bands like Perfume Genius.
  • Grunge and Post-Grunge. Nirvana, Foo Fighters, Pearl Jam. I had never listened to Pearl Jam, which seems very odd, and I may be the only person who thinks Eddie Vedder sounds exactly like Darius Rucker. I understand that the Mariners play Smells Like Teen Spirit instead of Take Me Out to the Ballgame during the seventh inning stretch.
  • Rock. Jimy Hendrix, Heart, Queensryche, the Ventures. I’ve never really liked Hendrix. At his best he’s a good blues guitarist, but usually I find him cloying. I downloaded Rod Stewart’s cover of Angel, and Derek & the Dominoes cover of Little Wing, and they’re still better than Hendrix’s originals. As for Heart, hadn’t heard them since the 70s, and listening to them 50 years later was great fun. I always thought the Ventures did Wipeout, but that was the Surfaris. The Ventures did do The Theme from Hawaii Five-0, which I’ve added to my Hawaii playlist, and Pipeline. I wish I could play that first hook in Pipeline.
  • Hip-Hop, Rap. Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, Mary Lambert (only because of her ties to Maklemore, she keeps me warm is lovely), and some song by Kanye West. We watched the Taylor Swift documentary, Miss Americana, after we got back, so I’m not talking to Kanye right now.
  • Jazz. Bill Frisell, Kenny G, Ernestine Anderson, Quincy Jones. That’s too broad a list to mean anything. I never made it through a full Kenny G. song, but I’m a fan of Bill Frisell because I’m a guitar fan. Ernestine Anderson grew up in Houston, but I’d never listened to her. It’s music that goes well with martinis.
  • Classical. John Cage, Mark O’Conner. I liked the Cage I listened to. Mark O’Conner is from Seattle, and bluegrass, but his Appalachia Waltz with Yo-Yo Ma and Edgar Meyer is wonderful.
  • Bing Crosby. I can always listen to White Christmas.
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Ocean Springs

Walter Anderson, Detail, Ocean Springs Community Center Mural, 1951.

We fished Saturday and Sunday. That seems like a small thing, we fish lots of Saturdays and Sundays, but so far this year I have caught a tiny bluegill (which was all I caught in January) and two small rainbows (which were all I caught in February). Meanwhile we’ve fished at Key West, Oahu, on the Texas Coast, and in the Hill Country. Since we were in Mississippi to try for another state things were bound to go wrong.

And last Saturday was bad even for March fishing on the Gulf. it was overcast and there was a 20+ knot wind from the south–which meant if we had just stood still and held our arms out we could have visited Memphis. To get to the leeward side of Horn Island we had to quarter the wind eight miles through three-foot slop, the kind of scary slop that in our skiff by ourselves would have left us alternately screaming at each other and clinging to each other in terror, hoping we didn’t die.

Our guide, Richard Schmidt, ran the right boat for the water, a Hell’s Bay Marquesas with a 90 hp Suzuki, and we were always perfectly safe. But Richard was pretty dubious about taking us out in that weather, and my jokes about us being casting impaired didn’t help any. The high wind coupled with the low chance of enough sun to see fish left things pretty sketchy, and when Richard suggested that sometimes his customers were casting challenged, I chimed in that he’d be well prepared for us. The joke fell flat. This was not a funny day. I was worried he was going to turn the boat around.

Instead he took us on to Horn Island. He had boiled crawfish and beer in the cooler, so whatever happened we were going to have a good day, and I would have gone to Horn Island just to see it.

Walter Anderson, Turtle Diptych, Walter Anderson Museum, Watercolor on Two Sheets of Typing Paper, c. 1960.

Horn Island is part of the Gulf Coast Islands Seashore, and it’s a national treasure because, while it’s pretty enough–eight miles of sculpted pines and sugar white sand and dune colors–it’s Walter Anderson’s subject. I kept saying it was beautiful because, well, it was, but it was also beautiful because my eye had been prepared by Anderson. It’s hard not to see Anderson everywhere on the island.

I had never heard of Walter Anderson until I read The Gulf: The Making of an American Sea. Jack Davis spends pages talking about him, and having read Davis the first thing I asked the lady at the front desk at the Walter Anderson Museum of Art was whether he was really crazy? “No,” the nice lady said, “He was just eccentric.” Mississippians being polite have eccentric, us Texans being harsher have crazy.

At dinner Friday Kris and I had talked mostly about Anderson–the lady at the desk said she personally thought he was bipolar, and that may not be crazy all the time but it’s at least eccentric. There were so many things to talk about, about how he lived apart from his family but how still from time to time new children would appear, about how he tied himself to a tree on Horn Island to experience Hurricane Betsy, about his long trips rowing the eight miles to Horn Island to live and sketch, and about his genius. Mostly about his genius. His work is so brilliant, so evocative of the place and more than a bit madly obsessive. How do we all not know Walter Anderson as well as we know Van Gogh, as well as we know Picasso? At least as well as we know Donald Judd?

And Horn Island is exactly what you see when you see much of Anderson’s work. Plus, right off the bat I caught a fish.

It wasn’t a very big fish. It was a 16-inch red that took my fly when I blind-cast to a place that to me looked fishy. The fish was silver, not red or bronze, with the bluest tail I’ve ever seen. Everything in Mississippi has the blues. After that Kris camped out on the casting platform and pretty much stayed there. I napped and ate crawfish, so I was happy, mostly. Kris hooked a redfish, too, a good 20-pounder, but the leader broke. Wind knot? probably a wind knot. There wasn’t a pig tail, so it wasn’t a badly tied connection, and anyway I’m sure that all of my knots are always perfect. The tippet was Rio fluorocarbon so even though the spool was a few years old it shouldn’t have snapped without some cause. Wind knot.

Otherwise while Kris fished I tried to take photos of the bald eagle and the ospreys on the island, and when I walked up into the dunes for a rest break I saw raccoon and seabird tracks in the sand. There was a moment when I was allowed a brief, very short stint back on the casting platform and watched hundreds of schooled sheepshead streaming down the beach, aggregating for their spawn. It is such a living place. We got some sun, and when we did we saw fish. We got some shots.

Sunday the problem wasn’t wind. There was no wind so instead we got fog, heavy fog that Kris and I wouldn’t have braved alone and that nobody else did either, and gnats. Gnats from hell. Gnats that we breathed, and ate, and that searched out every small bit of exposed and un-sprayed skin for a good feed. I was on the platform at one point and I looked down at a bit of hand I’d missed with bug spray and there were at least 200 gnats a’swarming. I have gnat bites on my bald spot. I have a raccoon-ring of welts around each eye where the Buff didn’t quite meet my sunglasses, and where I had avoided spaying bug spray for my eyes. Driving home Sunday, about the time we reached Louisiana, the gnat bites started itching. They were still itching 24 hours later.

Richard ran the boat 30 minutes through fog into the marshes out of Pass Christian, which is pronounced “Pass Christy-Anne,”with just a hint of “-ch-” between the “t” and the “y”. The water wasn’t clear, it had been better when we’d fished the day before, but Richard said that even in the marsh it usually was clear on the east side of the Mississippi. The Corps was diverting freshwater out of the Mississippi River through Lake Pontchartrain into the Gulf to avoid flooding downriver from New Orleans, and it killed the clarity. Apparently it also kills the oysters.

Richard said that beginning in May he guides mostly for jack crevalle on the flats and triple-tail near the crab traps. Kris never did catch a fish, so I’m thinking that means we need to go back. I’ve never landed a big jack crevalle. I’ve never fished for triple-tail. Plus the Mississippi Coast may be as pretty a place as I’ve ever fished.

And on the second day, late in the day, Kris let me on the platform just a wee bit more and I saw a swirl in a couple of feet of water and made a magnificent 90-foot cast to set my fly on the nose of the new world-record black drum. Ok, I’m lying, it isn’t the new world-record black drum, but it was one huge black drum–in the Gulf Coast parlance a big ugly. Richard thought it weighed somewhere between 40 and 50 pounds, so it was at least 60. And of course it’s growing.

And ok, I’m lying. It wasn’t a magnificent 90-foot cast, it was more of a rod-lenth flick. The fly was purple, with barbell eyes and it probably traced its lineage to a Clouser. I was fishing a ten weight Orvis Helios II and a Tibor Riptide (it’s probably important that you know that the Tibor was blue and that my shirt was sea-foam green). People always say black drum are blind, and maybe they are, but this drum made a six-inch rush to my fly, ate it, and I strip set. I really did. I strip-set.

Then everything stopped. The big drum pondered a bit and started to mosey away. It stopped, started moving again, realized it was hooked to something, and then it did something black drum don’t do: it ran. Their cousin the redfish will run, but black drum usually hunker down and make you pull them out. Ok, it didn’t run wild and fast like a permit or a jack, it didn’t twist and jump like steelhead, it ran like a train, straight and hard and purposeful and surprisingly fast, all the way into my backing: bubble-gum pink by the way, I’d never seen it before from that angle. Then when it stopped and figured out it was still hooked it ran some more. And then it ran some more. Richard polled in its direction which helped, but every time I started bringing it back it ran some more. It was big and it ran.

It didn’t take that long to land, less than a quarter hour, but it was some work. When I brought it boatside and Richard lipped the fish with his Boca Grip the hook fell out. We got some pictures, though they didn’t do it justice. Look at those shoulders! That color! That tail hanging halfway to the deck! It may not have been a world record, but it was without doubt the handsomest big ugly ever landed. It probably would have shown better if I’d held it up in front of us, arms extended, but I’m not sure I could have lifted it.

We fished a couple of more hours, and would be fishing still if it were up to Kris and Richard.

I loved fishing Ocean Springs. I have rarely been to a prettier place. Richard was a fine guide, plus he brought crawfish, and once you get past the Biloxi casinos the Mississippi Coast is charming. And did I mention? I caught a big fish–the black drum of the world, the most beautiful black drum ever landed and for that moment I was the handsomest gnat-infested angler who ever landed a fish. There just aren’t better places.

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Hawaii Packing List

I took my board shorts to Hawaii. I’ve had a pair for more than a decade, but before Hawaii I’d worn them only once to a charity gala, along with a tuxedo shirt and jacket and a bow tie with little palm trees. The fundraiser was formal but Hawaiian-themed. In Hawaii I wore them wade fishing and Kris made fun of them, even though I thought them dashing. Maybe she was making fun of my skinny white legs. The board shorts will be at Goodwill soon.

We both took 9 wt. rods, Kris took an Orvis HD3 and I took a Loomis Asquith, our Christmas presents to each other. I liked mine better. The Asquith is nigh on to perfect, but I need to use the H3 a bit to get used to it. They had different lines, too, and I may have cast the Rio line better than the Orvis. No one was injured by my casting.

I took a pair of Patagonia flats boots, the neoprene kind Patagonia doesn’t make anymore. I’d read that coral was a problem on the flats, and that heavy boots were needed. The Patagonias aren’t really heavy, but I didn’t have any problems other than sand in the boot, even around the volcanic rock. The bigger problem was that there was no way to tie them to the roof of the rent car, and they didn’t dry before we had to pack. Do you know how hard it is anymore to find a newspaper to stuff into your booties?

The rental car was a Subaru with adaptive cruise control. I’d never used adaptive cruise control, and didn’t know the car had it. It also had lane drift correction. That’s some startling stuff when you don’t expect it.

Where We Stayed

We stayed three nights in an Airbnb. I had tried to book Airbnbs before, but it never worked out. We were in a 15th floor apartment in an older apartment tower, and the tower showed its age, but it was central, within walking distance of Waikiki shopping, and cheaper than any of the Waikiki hotels. I gave them a sterling review, and they gave me a sterling review, and I doubt that either of us were exactly misleading the public or exactly telling the truth. We weren’t in the apartment much, and the coffee pot worked. The sheets were clean.

I’m guessing that a lot of Hawaii is a resort economy, which means a lot of folk scraping by on service jobs, and things are expensive. According to Jake the guide Airbnbs pull a lot of available housing off the market, and drive up the cost of what’s left.

Honolulu from Diamond Head

We spent one night at the Turtle Bay Resort because I wanted to see the north side of O’ahu. There were fashion models hanging out in the coffee shop, at least I guessed they were fashion models: they were young, thin, remarkably tall, pretty, and armed with a photographer. There were C.F. Martin ukuleles in the gift shop, and bad karaoke in the bar. There was a nice weight room and huge breakers. We weren’t there long enough for any resort activities, but sitting on the balcony playing the guitar and drinking coffee and watching the breakers was worth the effort. There was no free coffee in the lobby. I am immensely fond of free morning coffee in lobbies, but if I’d had free coffee I would have missed the fashion models.

Our final night we stayed at the Best Western Palace Hotel Honolulu, because we wanted to stay near the airport. We dropped the rental car that afternoon, took an Uber to dinner, and the next morning used the airport shuttle. It’s a plan that works well, unless the hotel is the Best Western Palace Hotel Honolulu. It’s tucked in at the edge of a grimy bit of freeway, has itself seen better days, and for the first time I recall I pulled back the covers and checked the bed for bedbugs. It was fine for the night before an early flight, and convenient, but next time I suspect I’ll pass. There were no bedbugs.

Where We Ate

We ate dinner the first night at Alan Wong’s, which is famous. It’s the granddaddy, and The Obamas Ate Here. Our waiter had learned his trade watching Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, and things could have gone better. I’m sure it’s ok most nights, but I didn’t like the food much, and they lost us in the shuffle. Kris gave them one star on Yelp! I guess people only do Yelp! reviews when they own the place or they’re angry.

The Pig and the Lady

Waikiki shopping is like shopping Rodeo Drive, or the Miracle Mile, or Fifth Avenue, with all the high-end retail anyone could ever need. We ate dinner at a place called Roy’s Waikiki. It was very popular and perfectly decent and I greatly admired the lips of the Australian woman next to us at the bar, which were immense and must have been made, literally, for Waikiki. There were other parts of her that looked manufactured as well.  If you’re going to eat in Waikiki Roy’s is fine, though it’s not a place that looks like a Hank’s, or a Joe’s, or a Roy’s. I liked the tuna poke appetizer. Maybe if you go there the Australian woman will still be at the bar and you too can be amazed at the size of those lips.

The two hottest places in Honolulu are The Pig and the Lady, which was spectacular and my favorite, and Senia, which was Kris’s favorite and spectacular. They’re next door to each other in the old Chinatown, which pre-WWII was the place for sailors to go for tattoos, liquor, and sexual shenanigans and is apparently now the place to go for cheap rent and leis. The Obamas had dinner at The Pig and the Lady the week before, which if I didn’t like the Obamas would make an amusing joke. I do like the Obamas though, and I liked The Pig and the Lady. Those two places made up for Alan Wong’s.

At the Rainbow Drive-in Kris ordered for us and I got the plate dinner, but with fish, beef, and chicken on a single plate, plus chili covering the side of rice (but not the side of macaroni and cheese). It was delicious, all of it. We ate tuna poke at a random sushi place in a strip center (which I’d never have done in Houston). As for baked goods, the Coco Puffs at Liliha Bakery are obligatory, plus I had the Full Hawaiian Breakfast with Spam, rice, and fried bananas. I have a secret and long-standing fondness for Spam, Salt! Fat! Pork!, so I am one with the Islands.

Liliana Bakery

The malassadas at Leonard’s Bakery are the very thing, and if you order enough of them they come in a pink box. Get the one stuffed with guava jelly, and the one with the cinnamon and salt, and the rest of them.

Malasadas

I had the Obama shaved ice at Waiola Shave Ice, then ate the rest of Kris’s shaved ice which was some other set of flavors. It was healthy. It was fruit.

There may not be an Obama statue in Hawaii, but they sure let you know where the Obamas eat.

Where We Went That Didn’t Involve Fishing

The National Park Service and the Navy are keeping the Pearl Harbor monument open during the government shut-down with private donations. The Arizona Memorial is closed, not because of the shut-down but because it needs repairs, so we didn’t get to see my cousin’s name in the list of the dead: Houston O’Neal Thomas, age 20, coxswain. He was a bit older than my father, and I suppose they must have grown up together. He was a child. I suppose he had no notions of war. I hope his death was sudden and painless.

We toured the Ilioni Palace, which was the last royal residence of the last king, King David Kalakaua, and then the last queen of Hawaii. Queen Liliuokalani. The conspirators wanted immediate annexation of Hawaii into the States, but President Cleveland refused, and sent a delegation to explore restoration of the monarchy. When asked, Liliuokalani sensibly said she planned to cut off the conspirators’ heads. Her answer derailed restoration, but she was, after all, a queen, and off with their heads is always a queenly answer. Hawaii was later annexed by President Cleveland’s successor (technically his second successor), William McKinley.  The palace (which is modest as royal palaces go), is a monument to regret at the loss of sovereignty.

The Bishop Museum is also a bit of a monument to the monarchy, but it’s very fine, and probably the best collection of Polynesian artifacts in the world.

We climbed Diamond Head. There was some guy jogging up and down the path carrying a boom box blasting 80s music. Somebody should import ear pods to Hawaii.

Where We Didn’t Go

We didn’t see any of the other islands. We didn’t snorkel, so I still haven’t. We didn’t surf, and I never will, particularly since I’m getting rid of my board shorts. 

We didn’t eat poi at Helena’s Hawaiian. I’m not certain that Helena’s Hawaiian is ever actually open. It was closed all day Sunday and Monday and even on days it claimed to be open it closed by 7:30.

We didn’t see hula, though I did buy a reprint of a book first published in 1907 about the songs of the hula. We didn’t attend a luau. We didn’t visit a ukulele factory. We didn’t feed the mongoose, though I saw it.

We didn’t see the Honolulu Museum of Art, and we never walked on Waikiki Beach. We didn’t eat shrimp out of a food truck. Luckily we get to go back.

I didn’t buy a Panama hat from Newt at the Royal, so I’m glad I’m going back. It’s startling to realize that with a Panama hat, a cigar, and a goatee I could pass for a planter, or at least Colonel Sanders. They’re a bit fine to use as fishing hats.

Newt at the Royal Hawaiian.

Playlist

Hawaiian music is everywhere, everywhere. Maybe it’s just atmosphere, or maybe it’s pride and love. It can get cloying, but in reasonable doses it’s beautiful.

Unlike prior trips where I’ve depended on my own music collection with some supplemental purchases, I owned no Hawaiian music. I finally subscribed to Apple Music. It’s miraculous. I was able to download a perfectly respectable list of Hawaiian musicians.

  • Israel Kamakawiwoʻole. A half dozen years ago Israel Kamakawiwoʻole’s cover of Somewhere Over the Rainbow was all over the internet. He was a monstrous man, a man the size of a Sumo, and he was playing a tiny instrument and singing sweetly. He also did a cover of Take me Home Country Roads that doesn’t once mention West Virginia. I’m not sure that’s legal, but he was a bit of a rebel: he was a sovereignty activist.
  • Mark Keali’i Ho’omalu and Kamehameha Schools Children’s Chorus, Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride, from Lilo & Stitch. Lilo & Stitch may be the strangest Disney movie ever made. I can’t describe the plot but trust me, it is . . . strange. And this is a fun song.
  • Elvis Presley, Hawaiian Wedding Song and Blue Hawaii. Elvis fits the jet-fed Hawaii. There’s also a very fine version of Blue Hawaii by the famous Hawaiian musician, Willie Nelson.
  • Keola Beamer and Kapono Beamer, Honolulu City Lights. This is a 70s album, and it sounds it. It is much loved, but they probably made records that carried the dated date less heavily.
  • Ry Cooder, Chicken Skin Music. In 1970 Ry Cooder made an album that probably still baffles folk. Chicken skin music is apparently a Hawaiian description of music so good that it brings goose bumps. The album features the great Norteno accordianist, Flaco Jimenez, and the great Hawaiian slack key guitarist, Gabby Pahinui. There is a cover of Irene Goodnight, and a cover of Stand by Me. The most Hawaiian song on the album, Hank Snow’s Yellow Roses, was as far from Hawaii as Tennessee, but it manages to sound like both.
  • Don Ho, Tiny Bubbles and Pearly Shells. I am of an age that remembers Don Ho. They are likable songs.
  • Gabby Pahinui. Of all of the Hawaiian musicians, Gabby Pahinui (1921-1980) is the one guy everyone should know. Gabby Pahinui is B.B. King or Ty Cobb. Ok, I’m mixing metaphors, but in his place, in his time, he was the distillation. He was a drinking man, but in the introduction of Iz’s Somewhere Over the Rainbow Iz announces “This is for Gabby.” It is Gabby who Ry Cooder included on Chicken Skin Music. It is lovely stuff
  • Na Leo Pilimehana, Local Boys and Waikiki. Na Leo Pilimehana is the girl group, and if the Beach Boys had been three Hawaiian women they would have recorded Local Boys. I sang Waikiki to myself for days. Sometimes I might have sung it out loud.
  • Steel Guitar Rag. It’s the song that stateside crystalized the popularization of Hawaiian slide guitar. There are versions by Bob Wills, Merle Travis, Les Paul, and John Fahey.
  • Louis Armstrong, To You, Sweetheart, Aloha. There’s also an album by Andy Williams. 
  • I guess Jack Johnson is the most famous contemporary musician from Hawaii. He was a competitive surfer but was injured, so he became a popular singer and guitarist. It’s hard to see how the boy ever got a date. It’s likable, amd it incorporates the sounds of Hawaiian music: sweet guitars, ukuleles.
  • Ka’au Crater Boys, Guava Jelly.  Motown meets Honolulu. “Ooh baby, here I am, come rub upon my belly like guava jelly.” That goes on to my road trip list.
  • Jake Shimabukuro, As My Guitar Gently Weeps. I think Shimabukuro may have single-handedly resurrected the ukulele.
  • Nathan Aweau, Akaka Falls.
  • The Brothers Cazimero, Home in the Islands.
  • Hawaiian Style Band, Let’s Talk Story. This one’s something of an ear worm.
  • Ho’ai Kane, Kona Red.

To get ready to go we watched a lot of the new Hawaii Five-0, and it’s addictive. I’m going to have trouble quitting.

For guitar music I worked on the Allemande movement to Duarte’s transcription of Bach’s first Cello Suite. I’ve worked on it off and on for years, and still can’t remember where the bass notes go.