Tag: Music

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Key West Packing List

Books

Short of England or Ireland or Manhattan there’s no island anywhere that’s the subject of more literary output than Key West. It runs from the sublime, Wallace Steven’s The Idea of Order at Key West, to the famously bad, Hemingway’s To Have and Have Not, to the fine, 92 in the Shade, to the sublimely ridiculous, Dave Barry’s Trip to Key West.

But what Key West and Florida generally are best known for is crime novels. If Oxford, England, has the most literary murders per capita of anywhere in the world, Key West must run it a close second. In novels by Randy Wayne White, Carl Hiassen, Lucy Burdette, Laurence Shames, Tim Dorsey, James W. Hall, and Michael Reisig (and I’m surely leaving some scribblers out) there are folk committing murders and mayhem and whatnot at a fierce pace down in the Keys. I don’t remember any John D. McDonald or Elmore Leonard novels set in the Keys, McDonald was Lauderdale and Leonard Miami, but if there aren’t they should get busy and posthumously take care of that. The remarkable thing about Florida crime fiction isn’t that it’s very good (and some of it is), but how little of anything else good is written about Florida. God is causing the Keys to sink under the ocean either because he thinks all those novels are true, or maybe because they are all true enough.

So I listened to a bunch of crime novels, particularly by Laurence Shames. They’re all entertaining (if not quite the thing as travel guides). I also read Jack E. Davis’s very fine Pulitzer Prize history of the Gulf of Mexico, Gulf: The Making of the American Sea. I can’t remember where or when I bought the book. It was on my bedside table and I was thinking about Mississippi and Florida so I read it. It didn’t have one of those gold stickers on the dust jacket that told me it was important, and I was mostly through it before I realized it was not just any old book but an Anointed Prize Winner.

As much as I’d read and thought about Louisiana last year Davis highlighted my limits. I didn’t think about the destruction of the marshes or deep water drilling or inshore damage from chemical production or the great agricultural dead zone in the Gulf, which are things that should be first to mind. I hit my personal dead zone. For Houstonians the environmental damage to the Gulf is so personal, so much both a part of and separated from our daily lives and so much of our own damn fault that it’s forgotten. We trust oil and chemical companies because we are oil and chemical companies. I loved the first 300 pages of Mr. Davis’s book. I suffered during the last 200.

When I went to my annual physical this week Dr. White and I talked about the book. Last year we talked about the new Ulysses S. Grant biographies and David Brion Davis’s Inhuman Bondage: my annual physical is my annual book club. Anyway we talked about the devastation at the end of Gulf and he told me not to worry about it because he was convinced humanity was doomed anyway. It was oddly comforting. Don’t worry that we’re destroying the planet because it’ll sort itself out after we’re gone.

There were two other minor take-aways from Gulf: Davis (Jack E., not David Brion) quoted off and on from the poet Sydney Lanier, particularly his Florida travel guide but also from his poems, and he wrote at length about the apparently mad painter, Walter Anderson. Lanier I knew as a Confederate soldier because of a local school-naming kerfuffle, but Anderson I didn’t know at all. I’d like to know more about both, but thus far I’ve found Lanier unreadable. It’s something I need to work on.

Rental Car

In Florida we rented a Nissan Rogue from National. Before last September I rented cars from Budget, mostly out of habit and because I always remembered which rental counter to go to. After bad rental experiences in Portland and Baltimore I looked online for car company reviews. I switched to National. I didn’t think it would make much difference, but in Chicago, Hawaii, and now Florida, they’ve been remarkable. They’ve been what customer service should be, and I’ll pay the few additional dollars to National for the customer care.

Meanwhile the Rogue had adaptive cruise control, which unlike when it startled me in Hawaii I expected. For the drive from Lauderdale to the Keys it was the best thing ever. Ever. I’ve seen worse drivers than South Floridians, in Naples and Mexico City the drivers are lawless and remorseless and mad, but South Florida drivers are their own peculiar brand of awful. There seems always to be a septuagenarian cranking 45 in the passing lane while a 20-year old in a Dodge Whatnot screams right and left through traffic, and all of it bordered by lines of 18-wheelers. Plus general heavy traffic and road work. It’s special. The adaptive cruise control helped sort things out.

Fly Fishing Stuff

Given that this was nominally a fly fishing trip I should be telling you what gear we used. We took some reels. We took some rods. Our guide, Andrew Asher, tied a crab pattern onto the 10 wt., and then we didn’t use anything but a 10. We didn’t use any other rod or fly until late in the day when I tried to cast for barracuda.

It was a beautiful day. There was some sun. There was some wind. There was some clear water. I think I’ll go again.

Bakeries

Glazed Donuts on Eaton St. in Key West has great donuts, and if you buy six they give you a box (so of course one always goes for the free stuff). That’s a bittersweet dark chocolate, and the key lime is filled with key lime pie. Quite an accomplishment.

Playlist

You know the Beach Boys are from California, that George Gershwin was from New York, and notwithstanding his current residence in Hawaii Willie Nelson is from Texas. You know the Allman Brothers are from Georgia, but they’re not. The Allmans are from Jacksonville.

You know that Jimmy Buffett is from Florida (except that he’s from Mississippi), and he’s defined how Florida is supposed to sound (which really isn’t quite to my taste), and Arturo Sandoval sounds like Miami, but all in all there’s not much there there when it comes to Florida music. There are great musicians–the Allmans, Sandoval, the Mavericks, Tom Petty, Ray Charles–and travesties, NSync and the Backstreet Boys and Lynyrd Skynyrd, but other than what came out of Cuba or Buffett there’s nothing that says Florida.

The Allman Brothers Band, 1973, from Wikipedia. Those were the days.
  • Dean Martin, Powder Your Face With Sunshine. This really isn’t about Florida, but I found it on a Florida song list. This is what Florida should sound like.
  • Zac Brown Band, Toes. This song is the love child of Jimmy Buffet and Michael Franks performed by a Georgia country and western band.
  • Jesse Harris, Secret Sun. Pretty.
  • Frank Sinatra, Let’s Get Away from It All. A useful song that mentions every state except Nevada. Ok. I’m lying. It doesn’t mention Hawaii or Alaska either, since there were only 48 states when it was recorded.
  • Nanci Griffith and Mac McAnally, Gulf Coast Highway. This was on a list of Florida songs, and it’s lovely, but it’s about Texas. Willie Nelson and Emmylou Harris cover it, which is the best,
  • Enrique Iglesias, Ballando. This is what Miami sounds like in the soundtrack in my head.
  • U2, Miami.  John Mellencamp, Miami. Counting Crows, Miami. They’re all different songs. The Counting Crows is the best of the lot.
  • Mel Tillis. Tillis is Florida’s most famous country & western singer, and he predates modern Nashville production. If you listen in the car you can pretend you’re driving a big rig coast-to-coast in 1969. For so long, I wanted you/To be my pretty queen./Now you’re mine, my purty one,/You filled my every dream.
  • The Allman Brothers. You can’t have enough Allman Brothers. I even made Kris listen to the entire 44 minutes of Mountain Jam. I think that will get us into the Guinness Book of World Records.
  • Tom Petty. You can’t have enough Tom Petty, but I did erase that song about zombies from my phone. What was he thinking?
  • Gram Parsons. GP. Everything’s better with Emmylou Harris.
  • Cannonball Adderly. In addition to Arturo Sandoval, Archie Shepp and the Adderly brothers, Nat and Cannonball, are from Florida. That’s pretty good jazz. I grew up with Adderly’s Work Song, and it makes me smile every time I hear it.
Nat and Cannonball Adderley, John Levin Enterprises-management/photographer-Bruno of Hollywood, 1961, reported on Wikipedia as public domain, but if not they can come get me.
  • Archie Shepp. Shepp was born in Florida, but raised in Philadelphia. I guess his connection to Florida is pretty tenuous, but that’s ok. So is mine.
  • Arturo Sandoval. I saw Sandoval and his band a couple of years ago, and he’s a master. He’s Cuban, and closely tied to Dizzy Gillespie. He sounds like Miami.
  • Jimmy Buffett. I’d rather not, but you have to. It’s state law, with stiff penalties for violation.
  • John Vanderslice, Romanian Names. Whenever Vanderslice came up on the play list I thought there’s nothing else in Florida that sounds like this. If I’d been playing a Brooklyn play list I would have thought, oh, another one of those guys. In some ways Florida is more mid-America than Kansas.
  • Lynyrd Skynyrd, What’s Your Name? This is why we should all despise Lynyrd Skynyrd. What a stupid idea for a song. It makes one think that Mr. Young was right after all.
  • Matchbox Twenty, How Far We’ve Come. This is why we should all despise Matchbox Twenty, if we have any clue who they are.
  • The Mavericks. Who knew the Mavericks were from Florida?
  • Ray Charles. Who knew Ray Charles was from Florida?

Coming back from Key West on the Overseas Highway we listened to Debussy’s La Mer (which was a bit oceanic for the calm seas) and two or three versions of Charles Trenet’s La Mer. It gave the drive a very French cast.

I took a guitar, but we went to bars instead.

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Hawaii Packing List

I took my board shorts to Hawaii. I’ve had a pair for more than a decade, but before Hawaii I’d worn them only once to a charity gala, along with a tuxedo shirt and jacket and a bow tie with little palm trees. The fundraiser was formal but Hawaiian-themed. In Hawaii I wore them wade fishing and Kris made fun of them, even though I thought them dashing. Maybe she was making fun of my skinny white legs. The board shorts will be at Goodwill soon.

We both took 9 wt. rods, Kris took an Orvis HD3 and I took a Loomis Asquith, our Christmas presents to each other. I liked mine better. The Asquith is nigh on to perfect, but I need to use the H3 a bit to get used to it. They had different lines, too, and I may have cast the Rio line better than the Orvis. No one was injured by my casting.

I took a pair of Patagonia flats boots, the neoprene kind Patagonia doesn’t make anymore. I’d read that coral was a problem on the flats, and that heavy boots were needed. The Patagonias aren’t really heavy, but I didn’t have any problems other than sand in the boot, even around the volcanic rock. The bigger problem was that there was no way to tie them to the roof of the rent car, and they didn’t dry before we had to pack. Do you know how hard it is anymore to find a newspaper to stuff into your booties?

The rental car was a Subaru with adaptive cruise control. I’d never used adaptive cruise control, and didn’t know the car had it. It also had lane drift correction. That’s some startling stuff when you don’t expect it.

Where We Stayed

We stayed three nights in an Airbnb. I had tried to book Airbnbs before, but it never worked out. We were in a 15th floor apartment in an older apartment tower, and the tower showed its age, but it was central, within walking distance of Waikiki shopping, and cheaper than any of the Waikiki hotels. I gave them a sterling review, and they gave me a sterling review, and I doubt that either of us were exactly misleading the public or exactly telling the truth. We weren’t in the apartment much, and the coffee pot worked. The sheets were clean.

I’m guessing that a lot of Hawaii is a resort economy, which means a lot of folk scraping by on service jobs, and things are expensive. According to Jake the guide Airbnbs pull a lot of available housing off the market, and drive up the cost of what’s left.

Honolulu from Diamond Head

We spent one night at the Turtle Bay Resort because I wanted to see the north side of O’ahu. There were fashion models hanging out in the coffee shop, at least I guessed they were fashion models: they were young, thin, remarkably tall, pretty, and armed with a photographer. There were C.F. Martin ukuleles in the gift shop, and bad karaoke in the bar. There was a nice weight room and huge breakers. We weren’t there long enough for any resort activities, but sitting on the balcony playing the guitar and drinking coffee and watching the breakers was worth the effort. There was no free coffee in the lobby. I am immensely fond of free morning coffee in lobbies, but if I’d had free coffee I would have missed the fashion models.

Our final night we stayed at the Best Western Palace Hotel Honolulu, because we wanted to stay near the airport. We dropped the rental car that afternoon, took an Uber to dinner, and the next morning used the airport shuttle. It’s a plan that works well, unless the hotel is the Best Western Palace Hotel Honolulu. It’s tucked in at the edge of a grimy bit of freeway, has itself seen better days, and for the first time I recall I pulled back the covers and checked the bed for bedbugs. It was fine for the night before an early flight, and convenient, but next time I suspect I’ll pass. There were no bedbugs.

Where We Ate

We ate dinner the first night at Alan Wong’s, which is famous. It’s the granddaddy, and The Obamas Ate Here. Our waiter had learned his trade watching Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, and things could have gone better. I’m sure it’s ok most nights, but I didn’t like the food much, and they lost us in the shuffle. Kris gave them one star on Yelp! I guess people only do Yelp! reviews when they own the place or they’re angry.

The Pig and the Lady

Waikiki shopping is like shopping Rodeo Drive, or the Miracle Mile, or Fifth Avenue, with all the high-end retail anyone could ever need. We ate dinner at a place called Roy’s Waikiki. It was very popular and perfectly decent and I greatly admired the lips of the Australian woman next to us at the bar, which were immense and must have been made, literally, for Waikiki. There were other parts of her that looked manufactured as well.  If you’re going to eat in Waikiki Roy’s is fine, though it’s not a place that looks like a Hank’s, or a Joe’s, or a Roy’s. I liked the tuna poke appetizer. Maybe if you go there the Australian woman will still be at the bar and you too can be amazed at the size of those lips.

The two hottest places in Honolulu are The Pig and the Lady, which was spectacular and my favorite, and Senia, which was Kris’s favorite and spectacular. They’re next door to each other in the old Chinatown, which pre-WWII was the place for sailors to go for tattoos, liquor, and sexual shenanigans and is apparently now the place to go for cheap rent and leis. The Obamas had dinner at The Pig and the Lady the week before, which if I didn’t like the Obamas would make an amusing joke. I do like the Obamas though, and I liked The Pig and the Lady. Those two places made up for Alan Wong’s.

At the Rainbow Drive-in Kris ordered for us and I got the plate dinner, but with fish, beef, and chicken on a single plate, plus chili covering the side of rice (but not the side of macaroni and cheese). It was delicious, all of it. We ate tuna poke at a random sushi place in a strip center (which I’d never have done in Houston). As for baked goods, the Coco Puffs at Liliha Bakery are obligatory, plus I had the Full Hawaiian Breakfast with Spam, rice, and fried bananas. I have a secret and long-standing fondness for Spam, Salt! Fat! Pork!, so I am one with the Islands.

Liliana Bakery

The malassadas at Leonard’s Bakery are the very thing, and if you order enough of them they come in a pink box. Get the one stuffed with guava jelly, and the one with the cinnamon and salt, and the rest of them.

Malasadas

I had the Obama shaved ice at Waiola Shave Ice, then ate the rest of Kris’s shaved ice which was some other set of flavors. It was healthy. It was fruit.

There may not be an Obama statue in Hawaii, but they sure let you know where the Obamas eat.

Where We Went That Didn’t Involve Fishing

The National Park Service and the Navy are keeping the Pearl Harbor monument open during the government shut-down with private donations. The Arizona Memorial is closed, not because of the shut-down but because it needs repairs, so we didn’t get to see my cousin’s name in the list of the dead: Houston O’Neal Thomas, age 20, coxswain. He was a bit older than my father, and I suppose they must have grown up together. He was a child. I suppose he had no notions of war. I hope his death was sudden and painless.

We toured the Ilioni Palace, which was the last royal residence of the last king, King David Kalakaua, and then the last queen of Hawaii. Queen Liliuokalani. The conspirators wanted immediate annexation of Hawaii into the States, but President Cleveland refused, and sent a delegation to explore restoration of the monarchy. When asked, Liliuokalani sensibly said she planned to cut off the conspirators’ heads. Her answer derailed restoration, but she was, after all, a queen, and off with their heads is always a queenly answer. Hawaii was later annexed by President Cleveland’s successor (technically his second successor), William McKinley.  The palace (which is modest as royal palaces go), is a monument to regret at the loss of sovereignty.

The Bishop Museum is also a bit of a monument to the monarchy, but it’s very fine, and probably the best collection of Polynesian artifacts in the world.

We climbed Diamond Head. There was some guy jogging up and down the path carrying a boom box blasting 80s music. Somebody should import ear pods to Hawaii.

Where We Didn’t Go

We didn’t see any of the other islands. We didn’t snorkel, so I still haven’t. We didn’t surf, and I never will, particularly since I’m getting rid of my board shorts. 

We didn’t eat poi at Helena’s Hawaiian. I’m not certain that Helena’s Hawaiian is ever actually open. It was closed all day Sunday and Monday and even on days it claimed to be open it closed by 7:30.

We didn’t see hula, though I did buy a reprint of a book first published in 1907 about the songs of the hula. We didn’t attend a luau. We didn’t visit a ukulele factory. We didn’t feed the mongoose, though I saw it.

We didn’t see the Honolulu Museum of Art, and we never walked on Waikiki Beach. We didn’t eat shrimp out of a food truck. Luckily we get to go back.

I didn’t buy a Panama hat from Newt at the Royal, so I’m glad I’m going back. It’s startling to realize that with a Panama hat, a cigar, and a goatee I could pass for a planter, or at least Colonel Sanders. They’re a bit fine to use as fishing hats.

Newt at the Royal Hawaiian.

Playlist

Hawaiian music is everywhere, everywhere. Maybe it’s just atmosphere, or maybe it’s pride and love. It can get cloying, but in reasonable doses it’s beautiful.

Unlike prior trips where I’ve depended on my own music collection with some supplemental purchases, I owned no Hawaiian music. I finally subscribed to Apple Music. It’s miraculous. I was able to download a perfectly respectable list of Hawaiian musicians.

  • Israel Kamakawiwoʻole. A half dozen years ago Israel Kamakawiwoʻole’s cover of Somewhere Over the Rainbow was all over the internet. He was a monstrous man, a man the size of a Sumo, and he was playing a tiny instrument and singing sweetly. He also did a cover of Take me Home Country Roads that doesn’t once mention West Virginia. I’m not sure that’s legal, but he was a bit of a rebel: he was a sovereignty activist.
  • Mark Keali’i Ho’omalu and Kamehameha Schools Children’s Chorus, Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride, from Lilo & Stitch. Lilo & Stitch may be the strangest Disney movie ever made. I can’t describe the plot but trust me, it is . . . strange. And this is a fun song.
  • Elvis Presley, Hawaiian Wedding Song and Blue Hawaii. Elvis fits the jet-fed Hawaii. There’s also a very fine version of Blue Hawaii by the famous Hawaiian musician, Willie Nelson.
  • Keola Beamer and Kapono Beamer, Honolulu City Lights. This is a 70s album, and it sounds it. It is much loved, but they probably made records that carried the dated date less heavily.
  • Ry Cooder, Chicken Skin Music. In 1970 Ry Cooder made an album that probably still baffles folk. Chicken skin music is apparently a Hawaiian description of music so good that it brings goose bumps. The album features the great Norteno accordianist, Flaco Jimenez, and the great Hawaiian slack key guitarist, Gabby Pahinui. There is a cover of Irene Goodnight, and a cover of Stand by Me. The most Hawaiian song on the album, Hank Snow’s Yellow Roses, was as far from Hawaii as Tennessee, but it manages to sound like both.
  • Don Ho, Tiny Bubbles and Pearly Shells. I am of an age that remembers Don Ho. They are likable songs.
  • Gabby Pahinui. Of all of the Hawaiian musicians, Gabby Pahinui (1921-1980) is the one guy everyone should know. Gabby Pahinui is B.B. King or Ty Cobb. Ok, I’m mixing metaphors, but in his place, in his time, he was the distillation. He was a drinking man, but in the introduction of Iz’s Somewhere Over the Rainbow Iz announces “This is for Gabby.” It is Gabby who Ry Cooder included on Chicken Skin Music. It is lovely stuff
  • Na Leo Pilimehana, Local Boys and Waikiki. Na Leo Pilimehana is the girl group, and if the Beach Boys had been three Hawaiian women they would have recorded Local Boys. I sang Waikiki to myself for days. Sometimes I might have sung it out loud.
  • Steel Guitar Rag. It’s the song that stateside crystalized the popularization of Hawaiian slide guitar. There are versions by Bob Wills, Merle Travis, Les Paul, and John Fahey.
  • Louis Armstrong, To You, Sweetheart, Aloha. There’s also an album by Andy Williams. 
  • I guess Jack Johnson is the most famous contemporary musician from Hawaii. He was a competitive surfer but was injured, so he became a popular singer and guitarist. It’s hard to see how the boy ever got a date. It’s likable, amd it incorporates the sounds of Hawaiian music: sweet guitars, ukuleles.
  • Ka’au Crater Boys, Guava Jelly.  Motown meets Honolulu. “Ooh baby, here I am, come rub upon my belly like guava jelly.” That goes on to my road trip list.
  • Jake Shimabukuro, As My Guitar Gently Weeps. I think Shimabukuro may have single-handedly resurrected the ukulele.
  • Nathan Aweau, Akaka Falls.
  • The Brothers Cazimero, Home in the Islands.
  • Hawaiian Style Band, Let’s Talk Story. This one’s something of an ear worm.
  • Ho’ai Kane, Kona Red.

To get ready to go we watched a lot of the new Hawaii Five-0, and it’s addictive. I’m going to have trouble quitting.

For guitar music I worked on the Allemande movement to Duarte’s transcription of Bach’s first Cello Suite. I’ve worked on it off and on for years, and still can’t remember where the bass notes go.

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Another Interlude

On Thursday we leave for Hawaii, which for some odd and I suspect Southern reason I pronounce Huh-wah-yuh, which Siri can’t understand when I call up my playlist. We should spend today packing, which we won’t. What do we take? Some shorts, some shirts, some wading boots. The couple of 9 wt rods we gave each other for Christmas. A guitar. We fish with Captain Jesse Cheape of High Tide Fishing, a full day on Friday and a half-day on Saturday. After that we’ll sightsee. I think sightseeing is required by the nature of the thing.

It is the second farthest distance we’ll travel, closer than Alaska but further than Maine. I’ve actually practiced casting some, which is frustrating and unrewarding. I’m such a mediocre caster. I’ve tried to keep up my Hawaii reading, and have been through a couple of additional Hawaiian books–The Descendants by Kaui Hart Hemmings, which was very likable, and Dreams from My Father by Barrack Obama, which was about his birth in Kenya.

I guess my thoughts have moved on to Mississippi, which I’ve been working on for May, and Florida which I have to go to in February. I’m beginning to despise Florida and its uncatchable fish, but the Astros open there in April, and if we fail again in February (with a one-day fishing trip to the Keys) maybe we’ll make a fourth trip in April.

Hawaiian music hasn’t really grabbed me: it’s melodic, sweet, all major keys and thirds and fifths and pure tones. I’ve been cheating on Hawaii with Mississippi Blues. It shares a slide guitar, but not much else.

Frontispiece, Life on the Mississippi, The Baton Rouge, 1883, Gutenberg.org.

I also cheated on Hawaii with Mississippi books, and re-read Twain’s Life on the Mississippi. It is such an essential book. It’s only a bit more than a six-hour (read eight-hour) drive from here to Vicksburg, and we could visit the battlefield memorial and the National Cemetery over the long Martin Luther King weekend. Of course with the government shut-down nothing at the National Cemetery would be open. It’s too bad all presidents aren’t required to be born in Kenya.

Early on Twain also traveled to Hawaii (née the Sandwich Islands) and wrote a series of letters from there for a San Francisco newspaper. I didn’t find the letters particularly illuminating, though Twain liked the place immensely and always talked of going back.

I’ve tied some leaders which won’t turn over, and some flies which won’t catch fish. I’ve also bought some flies, almost all of which are some kind of spawning shrimp, which is the only fly I can ever seem to remember on Captain Cheape’s list. I do own a bunch of bonefish flies, almost none of which are on said list. I’ll haul them along anyway.

Meantime the weather here in Houston is as good as it gets: clear, windless, dry, and cool, 61 degrees this morning with a high of 71 degrees. There’s a mockingbird singing through the open door to the porch. Maybe I’ll go look for black bass this afternoon, or spawning crappie. Yesterday we took the skiff out on Galveston bay, and the combination of cold weather and still air left the water clear. We saw some redfish, too.

Didn’t catch those either. We did get some excellent oysters and ceviche at the Black Pearl Oyster Bar on 23rd Street.

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Hawaii

I’ve never really wanted to go to Hawaii. People tell me that if you get away from the crowds it’s a beautiful place. I’m sure it is, but it’s never much appealed to me. There are so many other places to see, places with deserts and rivers and such. But damn, Willie Nelson. Willie Nelson now lives in Hawaii. That’s tough to ignore.

The contact I’ve had with Hawaii has been pretty casual. My Dad’s first cousin, Houston O’Neil Thomas, U.S. Navy coxswain and son of Sam Houston Thomas, died on the Arizona at Pearl Harbor. I guess that isn’t exactly casual but it was 15 years before I was born, so it was remote. I’ve looked up his name in the Arizona’s dead, and my great-grandmother, Sam Houston’s grandmother, died ten days later, on December 27, 1941, the second family casualty of World War II. Maybe that run-in with Hawaii explains some of its lack of appeal.

Like a lot of bookish teenagers of a certain age I read James Michener’s Hawaii, and I’ve watched enough episodes of Hawaii Five-O to say “Book ’em Dano” with conviction. For years though I thought the lead actor was Darrin McGavin. I’m not much of an Elvis fan either.

I do like the music, or what I know of it. There’s a particular style of guitar in Hawaii, called slack-key.  The name comes from slacking the guitar’s standard tuning to an open tuning.  If the 1st and 6th strings are tuned down, slacked, from E to D, and the 5th string is slacked from A to G, the guitar is tuned to a G chord without the left hand–every beginning guitarists dream. The open tuning changes chording and scales, but there are some famous open tuning players–I always think of Joni Mitchell–and slack key guitar is lovely. This song by Keola Beamer is pretty perfect. 

But open tunings were never enough to make me want to go to Hawaii. I’m not a beach guy, and at least from what I can tell, all of Hawaii seems to be an enormous beach town. I suspect I’m too old to learn to surf, and always was. Or maybe just too pale to learn to surf, and always was. Or maybe just too dubious about my own athleticism.

So last year when I made my New Year’s resolution I was thinking I’ll have to go to Hawaii, and this is the only thing that would ever get me there. I’ve never wanted to go to Las Vegas either, though I did have a layover in the airport once. I wouldn’t mind a layover in Hawaii on my way to Christmas Island.

Maybe I’d think differently if Hawaii was a fishing destination, but it’s not. I think there’s some offshore fishing, but I get seasick, and I think it may be touristy stuff. Of course I guess I’m a tourist. There’s also  spear fishing, but it’s hard to catch and release with a spear. Anyway Hawaiian fishing was unregulated and subsistence or commercial for long enough to deplete much of the inshore fishery, and despite all that ocean there are apparently not a lot of fish. 

And it’s not really known to fly fishers, except as a layover for the Christmas Islands. There is some freshwater fishing in a freshwater supply reservoir near Honolulu, but the only report I’ve read was during a drought, and it wasn’t very appealing. Maybe in better years it’s like any other lake. There are also stocked trout at high elevations on Kauai. Trout fishing in America.

The last decade though there’s been some good press on Hawaii bonefish, o’io. They’re big. Bonefish are a destination fish, and the best places I know, Christmas Island in the Indian Ocean, Los Rocques, Venezuela, parts of the Bahamas, the east coast of the Yucatan, Belize, and South Florida, are destination fisheries. Los Rocques and Christmas Island are supposed to be the best, if you can get past traveling to Venezuela, on the one hand, or the time and money investment of going to a place where there’s one plane a week. The plane! The plane! Book ’em Danno.

Belize and the Yucatan are really the same place separated by a border that the fish ignore. The fish there are smaller, mostly in the one to three pound range, but there are lots of them.  That’s where I’ve fished, Belize, with small, relatively easy-to-catch fish. Big fish are apparently a different fish: warier, faster, stronger . . . The Bahamas is a destination not because of quantity but because it has big fish.

Hawaii is supposed to have big fish, as big as the Bahamas, but the bonefish flats, the places where you fly fish for bonefish, are apparently small, scattered, and mostly on Oahu. Mountainous volcanic islands that pop up out of the ocean aren’t the best places to find flats. There must be something there though. There are lots of guides. Maybe there are lots of tourists? I suspect there are lots of tourists.

It’s also a place where apparently the wind blows hard much of the time, up to 25 knots (that’s a nautical mile, or 1.15 statute miles), and if you do hook a fish you have to keep them out of the coral or you’ll lose the fish. When we go it will also be the rainy season. It’s not ideal. 

But we’ll go, right after New Years.