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What’s the Matter with Kansas, Part 2, October 16-19, 2020

Here’s a tip. If it’s in the 30s and the wind is blowing hard, and you pull into a Kansas campsite at 11 at night, angry with each other because of the wrong turn you made on the farm road, and because you couldn’t decipher the instructions at the park self-pay station, and because your companion doesn’t believe that this is the right campsite (or that if it’s not screw it, it’s a campsite); and you agree you’ll just sleep in the front seats of the van because it’s cold and dark and blowing and setting up the tent is just more than you can manage, well here’s the tip: when your companion says should we get out the sleeping bags? Say yes, and do it. The car seats will be ok, they recline and you’re exhausted, but by a few hours after you park, the inside of the van will be as cold as if there was no van at all. I froze all night, and woke with one of Kris’s sweaters wrapped around my feet, with a towel wrapped around my legs, and with a small dog snuggled for warmth as close as it could get.

Here’s a second tip. If you decide at the last minute to take the wee dogs along, and the wee dog who sticks by you is not the clean living chihuahua but the miniature schnauzer that daily collects a new layer of oily dirt and dog smells, give the dog a bath before you go. Sure, she’s a sweet dog, but after two days with the dog sleeping near you for warmth, three weeks later you’ll still conjure the smell of that dog. It was bad enough the first night, sleeping loose in the car, but the second night when it got really cold, the dog and I shared my technical skin-tight ultralight Mountain Hardware down mummy bag. In that bag there’s barely space for me, much less a schnauzer, except (because she was shivering) right at the neck. To make space for the schnauzer, I left the neck of the bag unzipped. My schnoz and that schnauzer shared too much space for too long.

Just give the dog a bath. Slightly rancid schnauzer is a smell that lingers. Take the time and give the dog a bath.

Mead State Park is not on anybody’s must-see list, but it’s pretty. In warmer weather it would have been a lot of fun to fish. There were shallow flats where in summer the bass and sunfish would cluster, except that the cold nights sent the bass and sunfish into shock and deeper water and they were nowhere to be found. There was bird life, and Kris got plenty of photos, flickers, eastern bluebirds, redhead ducks . . . The park was also packed with RVs, while we had the only tent. When we got back I asked my friend Schoonover whether he had an RV, and he said I’m old and white, of course I have an RV. I guess I’m supposed to have an RV.

We have a newish tent, and a newish propane stove. I’ve got all the backpacking gear in the world, but I bought the new tent and stove for car camping. Here is another tip, or at least an insight. When you wake up in the morning and the temperature has plummeted below freezing, you’re going to be jealous of those people with RVs. It’s hard to pack camp with numb fingers.

The dogs sat in the car and were no help at all with the packing.

There’s nothing wrong with cold I guess, and after the first cold night we had one extraordinarily beautiful day followed by an even colder, windier night. The next morning after breakfast it was overcast and spitting rain so we threw stuff into the car and drove around southwestern Kansas, to Dodge City and the Cimarron National Grassland. At 5 that afternoon, after it never warmed, we drove home, across the Oklahoma Panhandle, down through the Texas Panhandle, and then east and south to Houston. We drove through the night and got home the next morning by 9.

I was the only fly fisher at Mead Lake, but there were conventional anglers, and they weren’t catching anything either. I did have a safety plan. There’s always a spillway, and at the bottom of the spillway a bit of water where you can find sunfish. I was going to fish the Mead Lake tailwater! Here was the Mead Lake spillway. There weren’t any dry-land sunfish.

Mead Lake gets stocked with trout on November 1, and at dusk Saturday, in the prettiest light in the world, we watched rise forms across the center of the lake. I’d brought a sit-on-top kayak, the kind where sit-on-top actually translates as sit-in-a-puddle, and I tried to fish the rise. I don’t know what the fish were, maybe sunfish, but I’m half convinced it was early-stocked trout. I fished a small streamer, and got a tug, and got enough of a hit to see a quick flash of silver before the fish came off the hook, but I should have thrown out a foam beetle and let it sit. Even fishless though, it was pretty, and I fished until dark.

Here’s a fourth tip. In October Kansas gets cold, and the wind blows. Maybe June’s the time to go to Kansas.

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What’s the Matter with Kansas, Part 1, October 16-19, 2020

I’ve been busy this fall with work and other things, so even without the coronavirus, there have been reasons not to travel. We’ve fished for bass in freshwater and redfish in salt, but since early August all of our fishing has been close to home. I’ve studied maps, and concentrated on where we could reach driving. I’m not ready for airplanes, but I still want to fill in blanks.

And there are blanks to fill reasonably close to home. There are adjacent states I’ve been saving, Arkansas and New Mexico, and states a bit further that we can drive to without too much effort: Georgia, Kentucky, Missouri, Colorado, and Arizona, maybe South Carolina, maybe Utah. With the exception of Kentucky, I’ve been to all those states before, even if I haven’t been there to fish. What’s the point, though, of finally making it to Kentucky if I can’t visit distilleries? And New Mexico, one of my favorite places, requires visiting Texans to quarantine. Colorado is on fire. Then there’s Kansas, which is a peculiar problem that demands particular attention.

I can’t find a fly-fishing guide in Kansas, and I’ve spent hours on the internet looking. Over the summer I thought I’d finally found one, Paul Sodamann at Flats Lander Guide Service, so I called Paul. He’s a FFF certified fly casting instructor, and he’s taught a fly-fishing course at Kansas State, but he told me he’d stopped guiding. Zebra mussels have infested his local waters, and while the carp were still there, the mussels have so cleansed the water that the carp see you coming. Carp are spooky, and in the clear water he says there’s no reliable approach to spooky fish.

Zebra mussels and carp: America’s heartland has been invaded. See? Kansas is a complicated place.

Since I can’t find a guide I’ve focused on the least-populated Kansas places, and I will tell you there are plenty of least-populated Kansas places. In 2019 Kansas had an estimated population of 2,913,314, with 104 counties, and an average population density of 35.4 people per square mile. That’s a lot of land, and not a lot of people. And the population is not spread evenly. The ten most populous counties represent about 65% of the population, while the 65 least populous counties represent only about 10% of the population. There’s some weird symmetry in those numbers.

After map study we settled on the Cimarron National Grassland which is as far south and west as Kansas goes, with a stop at Meade State Park, an 80-acre lake just over the Oklahoma border, about an hour south of Dodge City. Meade State Park is 641 miles from Houston, or a roughly 12-hour drive. Cimarron National Grassland is about two hours further west, with a side trip to get the hell into Dodge. The description of Meade was of a good warm water lake, with bass, catfish, and sunfish. The descriptions of Cimarron said it had ponds, with bass, catfish, and sunfish.

Cimarron is in Morton County, Kansas. Morton County, Kansas, population 2,539, is not the least populated county in Kansas. That honor goes to Greeley, population 1,232, two counties to the north. Out of 104 Kansas counties, Morton ranks 91st in population. Urban as it is, one wonders, how do 2,539 residents support the communal things people need? A sheriff? A doctor? a high school football team? a high school?

It’s probably no surprise that Western Kansas is flat and rural, and that it doesn’t sport a lot of water or trees. The Cimarron Grasslands is located on the Cimarron River, which in Kansas is an intermittent stream, dry for most of the year. It was dry when we saw it. Even Middle Springs, a dependable watering hole on the Santa Fe Trail, was dry. Semi-arid, this is wheat country that depends on rainfall and aquifer irrigation, and every 15 or 20 miles along the highway there is a community with a co-op grain elevator, a farm supply, and a cafe. My friend Clark, a Nebraskan trained as a city planner, once explained it to me: the farming frontier communities are spaced by how far a pre-automobile farmer could reasonably travel to get to market and home again in a day.

Western Kansas is beautiful, but I may be unnaturally drawn to flat and sparse. It’s also In Cold Blood territory. Writers who trade in horror and violent confrontation should be drawn to Western Kansas. There’s nothing like isolated farmhouses to spur that creepy distrust of the stranger. But sparse as it is, isolated as it is, it’s not wild. This is industrialized agriculture, and everywhere there is evidence of cultivation and the massive machines and infrastructure that make it possible. In Western Kansas there’s rarely even the faux wilderness of uncultivated pasture. Every acre seems farmed. This is grain country, exactly what Kansas is supposed to be.

In 2016, Morton County voted 83% for President Trump, which is also what Kansas is supposed to be, and there was strong support of the President all along the highway. In every community there were Trump signs in yards and at businesses. At farm gates there were Trump flags. In contrast, yesterday morning on my run I counted 12 Biden/Harris signs in five blocks. Kansas was just like my neighborhood, but in reverse. instead of five blocks its political uniformity spreads across hundreds of miles.

On the drive from Houston I re-listened to a lecture by Thomas Frank, What’s the Matter with Kansas, based on his 2004 book of the same name. I haven’t read the book, and the lecture isn’t so much about Kansas as it is about conservative voters generally, with Kansas appearing mostly in the title as a bit of shorthand. If I follow the lecture correctly, the right on the left side of Kansas is no longer driven by economics; those Trump flags aren’t out there because of fiscal conservatism, but because of cultural divides. The Kansas Trump voters are now driven by anti-abortion, anti-gay, anti-antifa, and anti-whatever, not economics.

Maybe there’s some truth to that, but I suspect Mr. Frank misses part of the point of all those miles of wheat fields. Farmers are business owners, and the people who work for them and depend on their trade are deeply tied to the success or failure of their business. I’d guess their political convictions were developed more from Jimmy Carter’s 1970s inflation, followed by the 1980 Russian grain embargo, than from any deep seated dislike of what’s happening culturally in Chicago or Denver or Dallas, or for that matter Wichita or Amarillo. As much as there is to admire about Mr. Carter, he didn’t do much for Kansas farmers, and I’d guess 40 years on Kansas farmers still see government generally and Democratic government in particular as less a help than an intrusion, or a ruination.

This corner of Kansas was also the heart of the Dust Bowl, and Cimarron National Grasslands only exists because of government intrusion in the 30s, when a bit more than a hundred thousand acres of environmentally ravaged land was purchased by the government to add to the national forests, sans trees. Even in the photo above, the trees are imports, not natural parts of the landscape. There are also bits of the national grassland throughout the dustbowl plains, in Colorado, Kansas, and Texas, and it’s held as grassland in part to protect against a repeat of the Dust Bowl. In the urban mind, those Kansas farmers are always less cognizant of their dependence on the government aid they receive than they should be.

Meanwhile, we traveled to Morton County, Kansas, to fish. We may well be the only people hereabouts who can say that. We drove about 1400 miles and I didn’t catch a fish, not a bass, catfish, nor sunfish. Not a one fish, two fish, red fish, nor blue fish, of either the Republican or the Democratic variety. At least I get to think more about Kansas. What’s the matter with Kansas? We didn’t catch a fish.

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Tennessee and North Carolina packing lists

It’s hard to get excited about follow-up for a trip that’s a month gone, particularly with nothing coming up on the horizon. I guess right now I’m more interested in trying to remember how to play an Am7b5 on the guitar, and why it’s likely as not to be followed by a D7b9 (which I also can’t remember how to play). The days are just too busy to be bothered much by writing. Or reading. Or much of anything.

What We Forgot, What We Lost

The big effort of the trip was was the night we camped in Mississippi, which required taking loads of stuff, but I’ve already written about that. What we forgot to pack though was important: we forgot trash bags. It’s hard to camp without trash bags.

We did remember face masks and hand sanitizer, but I guess that’s a given in 2020.

For the first time ever I don’t think we lost anything. After we got home I even found the missing sock. How many times do you actually find the missing sock?

Where We Didn’t Go — Tennessee

I’ve spent a lot of time in Tennessee, in Nashville and Memphis and even in Knoxville. I really wanted to go guitar shopping in Nashville, but we didn’t have the time, and it’s also not the time. The virus was spiking in Tennessee, and while I might take a risk for a guitar, it was unfair to share that risk with Kris. Anyway I’ve shopped for guitars in Nashville before.

I also wanted to visit the area around Sevierville and Pigeon Forge because some of my ancestors settled there, and because of Dollywood. We didn’t make it. Before we settled on the South Holston River Lodge we had tried to get a reservation at Blackberry Farm, which is the spiritual home of the Garden and Gun South. Apparently we would have had to make the reservation considerably earlier than the month before, but I suspect the fishing at the South Holston River Lodge was better..

We didn’t go to Dollywood, but last week we listened to the podcast, Dolly Parton’s America. It’s brilliant, and almost made up for missing Dollywood.

Where We Didn’t Go — North Carolina

We went to no restaurants in Asheville, which I suspect is a criminal offense in most jurisdictions, but there you are. It’s 2020.

Like Tennessee, I’ve spent some time in North Carolina before, but I’ve never made it to Eastern North Carolina. I’d like to have seen the Outer Banks.

Anecdote of the Jar, Wallace Stevens

I have worried about this poem since high school, and I kept thinking about it on our drive:

I placed a jar in Tennessee,
And round it was, upon a hill.
It made the slovenly wilderness
Surround that hill.

I came back from the trip and started reading critical studies of the poem, about meaning (or lack thereof), and they didn’t know what it was about either. It’s one of Stevens’ most famous, and hence one of the best known 20th century poems, but it is about as much of an enigma as why I wake at three every morning. From time to time I decide I do know what it’s about, and if it weren’t for that “slovenly” I’d have a pretty good explanation, but whatever I decide I later decide that’s not quite the thing either.

I have a suspicion, just a suspicion, that Anecdote of the Jar and Dolly Parton’s My Tennessee Mountain Home are sort of about the same thing, but that Wallace Stevens wasn’t as sweet of a soul as Dollie Parton. I can’t really speak to their relative merits as poets, though Dolly is prettier, and has made more money, and she never got into a drunken brawl with Earnest Hemingway in a Key West bar. Not that I know of anyway.

Croquet

Croquet is a big deal in Western North Carolina, and our friends Brian and Jane took us to their club in Cashiers to play croquet. If I’d have played club croquet before I started fishing, I might not be fly fishing now. That is almost a perfect game. Kris and Brian beat Jane and me by one stroke, but Brian cheated by being good.

Tennessee Playlist

There is so much music in Tennessee. Country of course, but the blues, rock & roll, gospel, blue grass, Americana, soul . . . I had put together a playlist for Memphis a few years ago, so I added some country to that. Do you know how hard it is to add some country when you’re talking about Tennessee? You could never add enough Country.

On my phone I had 20 hours and 42 minutes of music, 395 songs. Here are some highlights.

  • Marc Cohn, Walking in Memphis. This song gets a bad rap, but just try not to feel a little elated when he sings “man I am tonight.”
  • Paul Simon, Graceland. There’s also a version by Willie Nelson.
  • B.B. King. All of it. And Albert King. And Memphis Minnie. There’s a lot of blues that came through Memphis.
  • Valerie June. I love Valerie June. I hope she’s still recording.
  • Elvis, Johnny Cash, Carl Perkins, Jerry Lee Louis,, Roy Orbison. There’s a lot of rock and roll that came through Memphis.
  • Bob Dylan, Stuck Inside of Mobile. Maybe the best Dylan song. Also Nashville Skyline.
  • Little Feat, Dixie Chicken. One of the things Kris brought to our marriage was Little Feat records, and Dixie Chicken is one of the great story songs.
  • W.C. Handy. Louis Armstrong Plays W.C. Handy.
  • Otis Redding, Sam Cook, Sam & Dave, Booker T. & the M.G.’s, Isaac Hayes. Next to Motown, Memphis was the sound of 60s soul.
  • This is cheating, but I downloaded the soundtrack of Ken Burns’ Country Music.
Patsy Cline, Publicity Photo for Four Star Records, March 1957.
  • Selections by Dolly Parton, Porter Wagner, Kitty Wells, Merle Haggard, George Jones, Loretta Lynne, Conway Twitty, Lefty Frizell, Patsy Cline, Ernest Tubb, Chet Atkins, Jim Reeves, Roy Acuff, Ray Price, Roger Miller, Kris Kristofferson. This list could go on and on, but I think if music was ever tied to a place, country music is tied to Nashville. Maybe country music made Nashville.
  • The Lovin’ Spoonful, Nashville Cats. When I was a kid, this was a song I’d feed a jukebox for. I sure am glad I got a chance to say a word about the music and the mothers from Nashville.

North Carolina Playlist

A North Carolina playlist isn’t as overwhelming as Tennessee, but it’s good, and maybe more eccentric.

  • Doc Watson
  • Sara Hickman
  • Lester Flatt & Earl Scruggs
  • Bill Monroe
  • James Taylor
  • The Avett Brothers
  • Charlie Daniels
  • Elizabeth Cotton
  • Carolina Chocolate Drops
  • Thelonius Monk
  • Roberta Flack
  • Max Roach
  • John Coltrane
Bernard Gotfryd, Thelonius Monk at the Village Gate, New York City, 1968,  Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division Washington, D.C. 20540 USA http://hdl.loc.gov/loc.pnp/pp.print

That’s a pretty great list of singer songwriters, bluegrass musicians, and most surprising, jazz greats. With Tennessee, you can hear links between blues and country and rock and roll and gospel and “Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay.” It’s hard to hear much of a link between John Coltrane and Doc Watson. It is a fine list though.

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Nymphing, North Carolina, July 31-August 1, 2020

Last November I mentioned to a colleague that we were trying to catch a fish in each state, and he invited us to their house in North Carolina, in the heart of North Carolina trout country. Their house is near Sapphire, which is eight miles east of Cashiers in the Appalachians in Western North Carolina, about an hour and a half southwest of Asheville. I suspect it was country once populated with hidden stills, but now there are probably more cute shops than stills. It’s pretty wild though, and their house was by far the nicest fly lodge we’ve stayed in. It was just as well it was their house, because otherwise we couldn’t have afforded a three nights’ stay.

Brian booked our guides through a local fly shop, Brookings Anglers, and it may be the prettiest fly shop I’ve seen, not that I’m overly impressed by pretty fly shops. I wouldn’t suggest driving more than a couple of hundred miles to visit. In addition to me and Kris, Brian and Jane had invited other work colleagues and their spouses, and we fished together one day and then the next day Kris and I floated the Tuckasegee River, the Tuck, while they went elsewhere.

The first day, the day we fished together, the Brookings’ guides had access to private water, which was small enough that I won’t give the name; Brookings has the access if you’re interested, and if you’re within three or four hundred miles of Brookings you really should drop by. The problem with the private water was that it was artificially loaded with huge trout that weren’t wild trout. The good thing about the private water was that it was artificially loaded with huge trout that weren’t wild trout. Sometimes that’s just fun. We caught huge trout.

We fished with Roger Lowe, who may be a bit younger than me, but who Brian described as the dean of North Carolina guides. Roger has the peculiar fate of looking exactly like my friend Jim from Austin, who I’ve talked baseball with for the last 20-odd years. Jim was a college pitcher and high school coach, and is a wee bit opinionated about baseball. Sometimes Jim is a bit brusk. Here is a recent response by Jim to something stupid:

“Go the fuck away . . . . Away.“

Which for Jim is pretty measured. In appearance Roger could be Jim’s twin brother. From the time we started fishing I expected Roger to invite me to take my stupid opinions and fuck off. I don’t even know if Roger follows baseball, but I will tell you there is nothing more charming than a guy with a North Carolina accent announcing that we’re going to Euro-nymph, and who then never once responded with expletives in exchange for my casting. If Roger and Jim are long-lost twins, Roger is definitely the more civil of the two.

The private water we fished wasn’t very big, maybe 20 feet across, and its runs are crammed under every overhanging branch in North America. Most of the day I fished Roger’s 10-foot Hardy two weight, with a long mono leader, 15 feet of 20 pound leader at the butt, 5 feet of 15 pound, and then a two foot stretch of Rio Two Tone Indicator Tippet material, finished off with 4 or 5 feet of tippet. What X tippet? I can’t remember, but there are plenty of descriptions of long mono leaders around the internet. I know this: Rio two-tone indicator is the bomb. Alternating hot pink and fluorescent yellow, it looks like the love child of fishing line and Christmas candy. The fourth time I went back to Brookings–not that I’m overly impressed by a pretty fly shop–I bought a spool. I’ll probably never use it, but I sure do like it.

All I really fished was the leader, and I don’t think I ever once had the fly line off the reel. The long 10-foot rod is for better line control in drifts, but I’d never heard why for tight-line nymphing two- and three-weight rods are preferred to the usual four- or five-weights. Roger explained that when a fish takes the fly, if it feels any resistance it will immediately spit the hook. The two weight’s limber tip delays resistance long enough to set.

As for casting, it didn’t matter. We weren’t casting far. With a 25-foot leader on a 10-foot rod on a 20-foot stream there just isn’t very far to cast. My best casts involved letting leader stretch out on the water behind, then using the water tension to haul the line forward, quartering upriver. I wasn’t much good at it. Most of my casts were big overhand lobs that ended with the fly hung in a tree. The flies themselves were weighted, or maybe Roger added weight, but we were fishing with all the classic flies: mop flies, squirmy worms, I think I fished an egg pattern at some point. Forget the fly though, what was fun was high-sticking the leader through the runs, and keeping enough of the Christmas candy indicator out of the water so that I could see any hesitation. It was mesmerizing, and completely successful. I am now one of those cosmopolitan fly fishers who has Euro-nymphed.

Late in the day my shoulder told me that high-sticking might be a young man’s game, but I kept at it. Like I said, leading that tight-lined bit of colored fly leader through a run was mesmerizing. Plus we caught fish. Roger was pretty entertaining too. Roger told a great story about a client who complained about rain on her fishing trip. Roger told her that sometimes you had to put up with a bit of rain. She was in the back seat, and he said she leaned over the seat, got in his face, and told him that he should shut up, that she could complain all she wanted.

Roger said that he shut up.

The story I won’t share is our next day’s guide’s, Matt Canter, who is manager and a part-owner of Brookings. Did I mention Brookings is a really pretty fly shop? Anyway, the story involves how Matt came to manage and then own part of Brookings. If you’re within four or five hundred miles of the shop, you should visit and get Matt to share the story. It’s a great story, and a really pretty fly shop.

What wasn’t so pretty was that day’s fishing. We were fishing small nymphs under big dry flies, dry dropper rigs, which wasn’t what was wrong. Here is what went wrong with that day’s fishing:

Kris had the greatest day fishing ever.

She caught brown trout, she caught rainbow trout, at some point she started catching nice-sized brookies. After her first brookie I mentioned to Matt that Kris had an Appalachian grand slam and Matt said yeah, but then a few minutes later Kris caught a smallmouth. Matt, whose gloat was very unbecoming, said that now she’s really got an Appalachian grand slam.

Why was Matt gloating? What was I catching? This.

Matt said it’s a kind of sucker, known locally as a knottyhead. That picture’s of a big one. After we got home I searched around on the internet a bit, and never could quite match the fish to a genus and species. For all I know God created them that day just to keep me humble. Kris and I would fish the same fly, same depth, same drift, and Kris would catch a lovely wild brown or a tarpon up from the Gulf or a steelhead come south on vacation and I would catch . . . a knottyhead. Ok, they weren’t the only fish I caught. I caught some nice browns and some nice rainbows, and even got a brown on the dry fly once, but I must have caught 20 knottyheads, one after another, while Kris was having the fishing day of her life.

I said Kris didn’t really have a slam until she caught a knottyhead. She immediately caught her one and only knottyhead. Next time I’m in Brookings I’m complaining to the manager.

Not that I’m jealous.

That night over drinks we were comparing our day’s fishing, and somebody asked if any of us had ever had a double, a fish on each fly?

I answered. “Kris has. Today. Twice.” As my friend Jim would say, a double-fucking-double.

I could have had a double if knottyheads just took dries. And she didn’t land both fish, either time. So there.

Not that I’m jealous.