Category: Southeast

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The Everglades and Key Largo, October 25-26, 2019.

It’s easy to make fun of Florida, it’s such an attractor of poor judgment and other shenanigans, but this trip I liked Florida. I don’t know if I liked Florida because I caught fish, or caught fish because I liked Florida, but it was our first trip where nothing else drove the show: no Disney World, no baseball, no conferences. We were going to see Miami and the Everglades, and when I got there I liked them. I liked driving around Miami Beach. I liked where we stayed in Key Largo. I could have spent days poking around the National Park.

And I jumped a tarpon, a big tarpon, the tarpon of the world. And while we were in Florida the Astros tied the Nationals two games to two in the World Series. Ok, that last had nothing to do with being in Florida, but it certainly affected my mood.

We’ve now fished twice in the Keys, once out of Key West, and this time with Duane Baker out of Key Largo. It was uncommon windy, more like March than kinder, gentler October. We fished Duane’s heavy 10-weight rods instead of our lighter gear, not because of the fish but because of the wind. Kris spent as much time as she wanted on the casting deck, which was fair since I’d held the deck for tarpon most of the previous morning. If we’d been home I’d have made a mess of poling the boat and given up, but Duane was poling and I was happy enough to drift along and watch the big boats heading east to blue water. I napped some, daydreamed some.

Duane’s Maverick had no GPS, but I guess over 30 years you can learn a place pretty well. Duane certainly knew the place pretty well. We were at the edge of the Atlantic over foot deep flats, a mile or so from developed shoreline, protected from breakers by the Florida Reef. Duane let the skiff drift in front of the wind over hard sand and turtle grass while he watched for fish and we tried to watch for fish.

Duane would say 30 feet, three o’clock, or 20 feet or 40. He had started the day with a lecture on what his directions meant, and while usually he was soft-spoken and quiet, when there were fish his directions were urgent, intense. Maybe we’d make that 20- or 30- or 40- foot cast in the right direction or maybe we’d wrap the line around our head, but what we usually wouldn’t do was see the fish Duane saw. Between the urgency and the wind and line management Kris had trouble casting, some days are just that way, but I caught my bonefish casting to where Duane told me to cast, retrieving the fly the way Duane told me to retrieve the fly, playing the fish the way Duane told me to play the fish.

And while I’d caught bonefish before, I’d never caught so large a bonefish, so fine a bonefish, and just like it was supposed to do it ran the line on my reel into the backing. Few things in this life are as good as advertised, but that fish was as good as advertised. This was a fish built for getting out of the way of sharks and it was doing all it could to get out of my way. Thank goodness for all those pushups.

Maybe after the cast and during the retrieve I saw the fish follow my fly, but then again maybe I convinced myself later that I had seen the fish. It didn’t matter. I followed directions and caught my bonefish. Earlier in the day I had hooked another, and that time I saw the fish and saw the take, but it was small and immediately came off the hook. Except for the couple of times I hard-smacked the back of my head with the fly I cast well enough, certainly as well as any fish could have reasonably expected, and no one was injured, not badly anyway.

The Keys are a crowded place, but October is the slack time and I suspect that maybe it’s the best time. Even if Kris insists she never saw a fish there were fish a’plenty. There was boat traffic, but on a Saturday we only saw one other boat on the flats. I can’t imagine what those flats must be like with crowds. No wonder that in every novel about Keys fishing, guides end up in violent encounters. No wonder Duane is so low key. If other anglers get on your nerves then in the crowded season urgency could be dangerous.

The day before we’d fished the Everglades, and if the Upper Keys were as advertised, then the Everglades were a revelation. We fished with Jason Sullivan out of Flamingo, as far south as you can go on U.S. soil without either getting in an airplane or island hopping down the Keys. From the Hotel National in Miami Beach we drove 90 miles, two hours, through the dark down and around South Florida, into the National Park, nearly from the Atlantic to the Gulf of Mexico. To get there by the 6:30 put-in we left Miami Beach at 4:30. That’s 3:30 central.

Jason seemed astonished that on our earlier trips we had failed to catch Florida fish. He said there’s so much life in the water. Of course that’s a problem with somewhat random fishing. We’d snatched days or parts of days, and fishing days and parts of days can always be ruined by weather, the wrong bit of beef or blot of mustard, or just bad luck. We’d had some of all of that, even with so much life in the water.

But the Everglades is such a miracle, it’s no wonder Marjory Stoneman Douglas waxed poetic and then became its defender, and it’s not a miracle because I caught a fish, or at least not only because I caught a fish. It’s a miracle because it is. It just is.

Jason ran us north and west out of Flamingo, all the way to the Gulf of Mexico. He ran a Hell’s Bay skiff with a 90 HP Suzuki, running at times 38, 39 mph on protected water. Over the course of the day we covered what must have been 70 miles, maybe more. If Jason had told me we’d covered twice that I’d have believed him.

We ran fast through the mangrove channels, narrow curving rivers of dark water bordered by densely packed roots and trees, and then the channels would suddenly open into saltwater lakes—Jason called them bays—still outlined with the same 15-foot mangrove walls. These were big open areas of water, thousands of acres of flat water. On that day the water wasn’t clear, but Jason was right: it was full of life. I cast and caught my first fish, what we Texans call a skipjack and everyone everywhere else calls a ladyfish. It was a raggedy little fellow, but after three fishless trips to Florida it was the best beloved fish in the world, the noblest, grandest, trophiest fish ever. Take that IGFA. I know what the world record ladyfish looks like.

And then in a few more casts I had my second fish, a Spanish mackerel, and now I was jaded. Florida is the easiest place in the world to catch fish. Anybody can catch fish in Florida.

We spent most of the rest of the morning following big tarpon using Jason’s 11-weight Helios 3 with an intermediate line, a line that sinks under the surface of the water, on an Orvis Mirage reel. Good stuff. We floated at the opening to the Gulf, now on the west coast of Florida, watching for the big fish to roll. I have to admit, I hogged the platform, but Kris was ok with it. Her previous tarpon experience had not been a good one, there was some terror and a lost thumb nail involved, so she was happy enough sitting on the ice chest and giving me directions. I had one hard pull that I failed to set, and one jumped tarpon that I didn’t set well enough.

The jumped tarpon took the fly and ran and then came out of the water, fast and explosive, determined to be rid of both the hook and me. I was thinking how do I play it? Can I? Then it came out of the water twice more so fast that I couldn’t think any more—maybe 50 pounds? It will certainly grow larger in my head in time; even now I’m thinking it was 60 pounds, minimum, maybe closer to 70. The tarpon was standing, four feet vertical to the surface out of the water. Then it shook the hook. Then it was gone.

I get it now. Tarpon. I jumped a tarpon.

In the afternoon we fished baby snook hard against fallen trunks and the tangled red mangrove roots. The small snook were everywhere, like sunfish. Jason said that if we caught one we would fish the same place because others would head to the commotion, and maybe we’d have a chance at bigger fish. We were fishing my 7-weight with a floating line, and after wearing out the baby snook we fished baby tarpon against silty, deoxygenated banks. We found them when they rolled into air above the surface to fill their swim bladders, protected from predators by the silty water. Their odd lung-like bladders let them take oxygen from air, and even the big tarpon breach the surface and roll for air. These were two and three pound fish, but just as certain as their elders to come out of the water when hooked. I hooked four, brought two to the boat before they came off, and finally late in the day landed one.

Even baby tarpon, there’s nothing like tarpon. Kris landed her own juvenile tarpon and then I think she wanted nothing more in the world than to go back after the big guys. I may never get to fish for anything else again. I may never get to stand on a casting platform again. Kris will be out chasing tarpon every time we fish.

That afternoon we drove east over the park road that we’d driven west that morning. In the daylight we saw what we’d missed: the dwarf cypress, the great glades of sawgrass, the walls of mangroves along the road, the birds . . . Just like in the bays it was full of life. There were signs announcing the elevation above sea level: one said four feet, one said five. You can get headaches because of the change in elevation.

Driving past an expanse of grass I said to Kris: that’s all covering water. She didn’t understand me until we stopped at the visitor center and could see the water everywhere. At the visitor center I read the captions on the placards a little carelessly, a little reverently. It didn’t matter. Everywhere there were details to forget but something big to remember: it is all full of life. Even the grass grew from the water, and all of the water is full of life.

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Florida Fourida

Fielding Lucas, Jr., 1817 State Map of Florida, A General Atlas, Of All The Known Countries In The World.

This will be our fourth try to catch a fish in Florida. Florida is as famous for its fishing as its sunshine and orange juice, as its bizarre WalMart behavior and its retirees. And I can’t catch a fish.

We’ve had bad luck, bad weather, missed chances, and no fish. We’ve tried. No fish. We’ve had great guides and gone to interesting places. We’ve drunk rum with escapading Midwesterners in Key West in winter. We’ve been yelled at in West Palm for casting against a bulkhead from a boat by a well-coifed New York lady in yoga pants. In Tampa we’ve watched the Astros lose to the Tampa Bay Rays at Tropicana Field and then fished all night. All night. From 9pm until 4 the next morning.

No fish.

Nothing works, and there’s no reason to think that anything will work this time. Maybe I should take up golf, or alligator wrestling.

This time we’re going to Miami Beach. Neither of us have ever been to Miami, or Miami Beach, but Kris keeps hinting that we should go to the Panhandle and fish for redfish, but I still want to go south. I want a shot at a tarpon or a bonefish or a snook or a permit, fish that are different than what we have in Galveston.

We’re fishing one day with Jason Sullivan and one with Duane Baker, both guides with excellent reputations, both completely innocent as to the lousy Florida luck they’re in for fishing with the Thomases. We may also make it to the Miami canals, finally, but there really is a lot of stuff to see in Miami, and we’ll only have one day to see something other than water. There’s water surrounding Florida. Water where people go to catch fish. Not us though. No fish.

*

God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth.

New Revised Standard Version, Genesis, 1:28.

I’ve been reading again about the Everglades. I’ve been rereading Marjorie Stoneman Douglas’s 1947 classic, The Everglades: A River of Grass, and the more recent The Swamp by Michael Grunwald, published in 2006. The Swamp ends with the defeat of Al Gore by George W., and lays the election of George W. at the feet of Florida environmentalists who voted for Ralph Nader. He’s probably right. Gore lost Florida by 537 votes, and when he lost Florida he lost the electoral college. Nader got 97,488 Florida votes. The environmentalists were angry at Gore because he wouldn’t scuttle the proposed Miami International Airport, the Everglades jetport, before a final Air Force report was published. When it was published, after Gore lost, Clinton killed the airport. Irony is so ironic.

I listened to another book too, not about the Everglades specifically but Florida generally, Oh Florida! by Tampa Bay Times writer Craig Pittman. The central Florida themes, flim-flam, violence, real estate cons, grotesque misadventure, transience, environmental destruction, golf, hanging chads, and over-consenting adults, bring to mind the old joke about Arkansans: that they’re glad Mississippi exists so somebody else can be last in every category. Reviewing Oh Florida!, a book by a writer who is very fond of Florida in a shell-shocked-sort-of-way, the New York Times likened Florida to America’s grease trap. It’s certainly a memorable comparison.

I’m currently reading A Thousand Mile Walk to the Gulf by John Muir. From what I can tell Muir’s first name was Sierra-Club-Founder, because you never see one without the other. Grunwald writes about Muir at length in The Swamp, and Thousand Mile Walk is a short, readable thing.

Muir is writing after the Civil War, only 10 years or so after Mr. Orvis opened his shop in Manchester, Vermont, and Mr. Thoreau published Walden. America’s opinion about nature seemed to have been changing, or at least in the Orvis shop’s case America had discovered it needed better dog beds. Muir walked south from Kentucky to Florida to look at plants and whatever else in the natural world he might come across, and planned to go on to the Amazon. In Florida he fell ill, probably malaria, and scuttled the rest of the trip.

Before he got sick, when he first arrived in Florida (via a short hop from Georgia by boat), his description of the Florida coast is brilliant, but it is also a bit surprised. There are plenty of mangroves, but no flowers. It’s Florida! Where are the flowers! Where are the golf courses! Ok, skip that last.

Grunwald uses nature’s malice, Muir’s malaria, to establish another theme for Florida. He posits that in Florida Muir, a religious man who sees God everywhere in the natural world, discovers that the Biblical imperative to go subdue may not be quite the thing. I’m not quite sure Grunwald is right, Muir sees no malice in nature, and he always seems to have preferred it to people. But in other ways Grunwald’s aim is true: no place better epitomizes environmental overreach than South Florida. That’s Grunwald’s real theme. As a Houstonian all I can say is thank goodness for Mississippi Florida

Meanwhile chances for progress on Everglades restoration seems to be improving. There’s a good article summing up the current state of affairs in the latest issue of Garden & Gun.

And meanwhile the weather reports for our fourth fishing trip to Florida forecast thunderstorms. Are there fish at Disney World?

*

Back in Houston, it’s my favorite time of year to fish salt water in Galveston Bay. The water is high, and there’s no clarity, but the prevailing south wind has finally died and with kids back in school and college football there’s not nearly as much boat traffic. We’re blind casting, but that’s ok. Saturday I caught a small but particularly beautiful speckled trout, and a couple of weeks ago Kris caught a sheepshead–neither one of us had caught a sheepshead on the fly before. I still haven’t.

Plus the Astros finished off the Yankees for the American League pennant last night, and there are few things better than that. I’ll be ok with Florida even if we catch no fish.

And I might as well be, ’cause we’re certain to catch no fish.

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Alabama Packing List

What We Took.

Rods

On the Tallapoosa we didn’t expect big fish. We threw a lot of stuff in the car, helter skelter, but we intended to fish with five weight rods, and that’s all we set up for the float. Kris had her Helios D3, and I had the new Winston Pure that Trout Unlimited had sent me for my high school graduation.

So far I’ve caught largemouth, bluegill, longear, redeye, Alabama bass, and a really big catfish on the Pure. It’s an excellent trout rod I’m sure, and someday I plan to catch a trout with it. With the rod Trout Unlimited also sent a Cheeky Reel, which must be the single gaudiest unobtrusive reel ever made. It’s an electric blue and green. It’s also disk drag, smooth and silent, and I don’t fish much with five weight disk drags, smooth and silent. After I put it on the rod I never really noticed the reel was there. Like I said, at once gaudy and unobtrusive.

I have lots of five weight reels, so I loaded the new reel with something different for streamers and poppers, a Scientific Anglers half-weight heavy MPX line. I don’t know what MPX stands for, but I’m used to big weight forward lines for redfish and bass and I liked the MPX. It’s probably the worst possible combination with the Pure, mixing a medium slow rod with a half-weight heavy line to make it faster, but there you are. The combination worked fine for Alabama, where neither the bass nor the legislature is big on subtlety.

I do have one beef with the Winston rod. It has a hook keeper, a rather large, sharpish hook keeper which when combined with the cigar grip and my choked up hand position rubbed my index finger raw. Does anyone actually use hook keepers? Why are they still put on rods? I guess I’ve got lots of rods with hook keepers and cigar grips, but that combination on the Pure really rubbed me the wrong way. All afternoon. And it’s an ugly hook keeper too, and ugliness isn’t part of the whole Winston thing.

Flies

My leaders were a highly technical design: Three or four feet of 20 pound fluorocarbon joined to three or four feet of 16 pound fluorocarbon by a blood knot. They worked fine.

A month or so before we went to Kansas Alabama I lost most of my bass and sunfish flies, four fly boxes worth. They were returned by a Good Samaritan, but not before I’d frantically tied a bunch of new flies, including (at the suggestion of a Kansan I’d been emailing) some Barr’s slumpbusters. Other than the disreputable baseball tie-in, I really like that fly, and fished it about a third of our river time in Alabama. I also tied some BBBs, woolly buggers, and clousers, and used none of them. I tied everything but the BBBs on size 8 streamer hooks, so they should be fine as well for our New York/Vermont/New Hampshire trout swing at the end of June. Of course the whole point of that trip is to learn something about dry flies, so I shouldn’t use them. I really shouldn’t.

The rest of the time we fished poppers. Craig didn’t bother calling them anything but Boogles, which is exactly right. I know there are people out there who tie their own poppers, but I never could get them painted in a way that made me happy, so I am happy to use Boogles. Craig fished with an intermediate size, neither as large nor as small as the ones I usually use. I’m going to have to buy some intermediate Boogles. East Alabama Fly Fishing has an excellent discussion on popper colors, and when to use them. It’s the kind of cool stuff that Craig and the guide service owner, Drew Morgan, are thinking about.

New Shoes

I’m a biting bug magnet. This spring alone I’ve suffered from infestations of gnats, mosquitoes, and fire ants. There’s nothing quite like a couple of hundred fire ants together with your feet in a pair of Keen sandals.

I figure that I’m not likely to pay more attention, so I bought a pair of cornflower blue Converse high tops for our trip to Kansas Alabama. Paired with running socks and some supplemental arch support for the aged they’re pretty comfortable. There’s reasonable traction, and I don’t have to worry about fire ants between my toes. Plus the cornflower blue matches my eyes when I stick my foot in my mouth.

The laces will catch a fly, so it’s another reason to debarb hooks.

I think Kris prefers snake boots, and the Chuck Taylors probably don’t provide much snake protection.

Restaurants, Barbecue

Coming into Alabama, the lady at the visitor center sent us to a Dick Russell’s for barbecue. It wasn’t really so much a barbecue place as a plate-and-three place, with an incredibly good two instead of three and pretty mediocre barbecue as the meat. I had turnip greens and black-eyed peas, and I’d go back for them. They also didn’t have white sauce barbecue, which southern Alabama is known for: Mayonnaise, vinegar, brown sugar, mustard, horseradish, salt and pepper. It sounds awful for pork or beef, but is supposed to be great on chicken.

In Montgomery everyone I talked to told us to eat at Central, which was around the corner on the same block as our hotel. It was the kind of elegant modern American place which seems to be everywhere and because of which the world is better off, and on a Saturday night it was crowded. One of the servers suggested Cahawba for biscuits the next morning for their breakfast biscuit sandwiches. The cheese in the eggs was a bit much, but the biscuits were excellent. I’ve never baked a decent biscuit, though from time to time I try. Because of my own failures I admire the craft of a good biscuit.

Back in Mobile heading home we ate breakfast at Time to Eat, which had the only Amnesty International and Human Rights Campaign stickers on doors in Alabama, and a smoking room. We accidentally ate in the smoking room. It had good grits, and the view of the locals coming in to smoke and drink coffee was pretty memorable.

In Louisiana we tried to get po’ boys in Lafayette, one of the great po’boy towns, but everyplace was closed for Memorial Day.

Where We Didn’t Go

We didn’t see Birmingham, home of both the AA Birmingham Barons and the former Negro League Birmingham Black Barons, for whom Willie Mays, Satchel Paige, and, of all people, Charlie Pride played. Pride and another player were apparently traded to the Barons in 1956 by the Louisville Clippers for a team bus. Everyone seems to like Birmingham, and it was once, along with Memphis and Atlanta, the industrial heart of the South.

The Northern part of the state is supposed to have gorgeous waterfalls. Our guide Craig Godwin said it was the prettiest part of the state.

We didn’t try enough barbecue, and we didn’t catch a redfish on the coast. The same server who suggested Cahawba for biscuits suggested the F. Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald Museum, Montgomery having been Zelda’s home. It didn’t open until noon on Sunday, so we didn’t make it.

Playlist

I didn’t know that Charlie Pride played for the Birmingham Black Barons, or he would have been included.

  • Alabama Shakes. This is one of those bands I follow because of their appearance on Austin City Limits. There’s just nothing not to like, except that I guess they may not exist any more.
  • Emmylou Harris. I probably have more Emmylou Harris music than anything else. For someone who doesn’t write many songs, she’s consistently had the best taste in music, and has a liberating way of making other people’s songs her own. I actually needed to cut 50 or so songs so I could hear something else, but I just never got around to it. She was a military brat, and didn’t spend much time in Alabama after she was born there, but being born there was enough of an excuse to listen to Emmylou. And of course there was “Boulder to Birmingham.”
  • John Prine, “Angel From Montgomery.” I had versions by Susan Tedeschi and Bonnie Raitt, but oddly I first knew the song from a high school John Denver record. It was a good version.
Handy’s Memphis Orchestra, 1918.
  • Paul Simon, “Loves Me Like a Rock,” “Kodachrome.” First I ever heard of Muscle Shoals, sometime circa 1973.
  • Arthur Conley, “Sweet Soul Music.” Muscle Shoals.
  • Wilson Pickett, “Land of 1000 Dances,” “Hey Jude,” “Mustang Sally.” Muscle Shoals.
  • Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band, “Old Time Rock & Roll.” Muscle Shoals.
  • James & Bobby Purify, “I’m Your Puppet.” Muscle Shoals.
  • Clarence Carter, “Snatching it Back.” Muscle Shoals.
  • Jimmy Cliff, “Sitting in Limbo.” Muscle Shoals.
  • Etta James. James, from California, had a long and strange career, and she recorded a lot of fine rhythm & blues, but none finer than what she recorded in 1967 in Muscle Shoals. “Tell Mama,” “I’d Rather Go Blind.”
  • Aretha Franklin, “Do Right Woman, Do Right Man,” “I Never Loved a Man.” Muscle Shoals.
  • The Staple Singers, “I’ll Take You There.” Muscle Shoals.
  • Percy Sledge, “When a Man Loves a Woman.” Just try not to sing along. Muscle Shoals.
  • The Rolling Stones, “Brown Sugar,” “Wild Horses.” Muscle Shoals.
  • Ma Rainey, “Bo-Weevil Blues,” “Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom,” “See See Rider.” Rainey made some of the first important blues recordings, and the available versions are pretty poor quality. She said she was born in Georgia, but scholars think she was born in Alabama five years before the year she admitted to. Charlie Pride did the same thing in minor league baseball, and this is now known in baseball circles as Dominican Aging Syndrome.
Ma Rainey, 1917.
  • Hank Williams. What a lot of great songs in a too short life. There’s a Williams museum In Montgomery, but it closed before we got to it.
  • Erskine Hawkins, “Tuxedo Junction.” I had versions by Hawkins, Glen Miller, Duke Ellington, and Manhattan Transfer. Tuxedo Junction was a blues bar in Birmingham. One of the great happy songs.
  • W.C. Handy. Ma Rainey is the mother of the blues, and Handy is the father. I had the Louis Armstrong plays W.C. Handy recording. If I’d known “Loveless Love” was by Handy I would have included the Billie Holiday version. I probably should have included Holiday’s “Strange Fruit” as well, in honor of the National Memorial for Peace and Justice, but it’s a tough song to contemplate, as is the National Memorial for Peace and Justice. One was enough.
  • Alabama, “Dixieland Delight,” “Song of the South.” I liked these more than I thought I would.

On principal I did not download “Sweet Home Alabama.” I meant to download a selection by St. Paul and the Broken Bones, but never got around to it. If you’ve never watched the Muscle Shoals documentary, Muscle Shoals, do. Muscle Shoals is some of the best of Alabama because, well, it’s some of the best of all of us.

Guitar.

I took the Kohno since we were driving, but then worried about the heat of the day when it had to live in the car while we went down the river. I worked on the Allemande movement of the first Bach Cello suite, the Duarte transcription that I always associate with Segovia. I’ve been told that Duarte was kind of a jerk, but it’s a good transcription, and the Allemande is actually my favorite movement. I can’t remember it for anything.

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Alabama

For each destination state I’ve written at least one blog entry before the trip, but we went to Alabama on the spur of the moment so it didn’t get done. Usually they were evidence of my preconceived notions, and sometimes they were out-and-out wrong. For Alabama I started to skip it because it’s supposed to be a precursor not a post-cursor. I can’t quite bring myself to waste a perfectly good postcard though, so I’ll tell some stories from our trip.

Alabama doesn’t quite match Mississippi for music and literature. There is the one book, lots of people’s favorite book, To Kill a Mockingbird, and Fannie Flagg is enjoyable, but neither Ms. Flagg nor Harper Lee are Faulkner or Eudora Welty or Jermyn Ward. There’s some important blues like W.C. Handy and Ma Rainey, and there’s Hank Williams and Emmylou Harris, but it’s not the almost endless list of musicians from Mississippi. There’s Muscle Shoals though. That’s pretty good. And don’t tell Kris but I’ve had a crush on Emmylou Harris since I was 17.

Willie Mays, Hank Aaron, Willie McCovey, and Satchel Paige were all from Alabama. Maybe they played on the same high school travel team.

And there’s “Sweet Home Alabama.” Ok, that’s harsh, Lynyrd Skynyrd wasn’t even an Alabama band, but the song is embraced by the state, there’s even a sweet home proclaiming sign when you cross the border from Louisiana, but the song’s resentment and outrage never seemed like quite the thing to me. It’s a catchy tune, but dang it’s pissy.

*

It’s fitting that we did Alabama and Mississippi in the same year. Mississippi and most of Alabama were ceded to the United States by Spain in 1798. Mississippi was admitted as a state in 1817, and Alabama was admitted two years later in 1819. In the 1820 census, the Alabama population was 127,901. and some of my second and third great-grandparents lived in Alabama in the 1820s.

Alabama and Mississippi are a weird counterpoint to two other matching states, New Hampshire and Vermont, so going to the four in the same year has a weird resonance. The pairs of states are different, sure, but get rid of the state line and we could easily be back to 48 states without much change in the national character. They really are matched sets. There’s a lot more difference between, say Northern California and Southern California, or West Texas and East Texas, than between Alabama and Mississippi, or Vermont and New Hampshire.

Alabama has 4,887,871 residents, so it’s almost 2 million people larger than Mississippi. It’s also richer than Mississippi, but not by much. Mississippi now ranks ahead of West Virginia at 49th in median wealth per household, with $43,529, Alabama 45th, with $48,123. Alabama and Mississippi are also essentially white and black, with Alabama 68.5% white and 26.2% black, and Mississippi 63.5% white and 35.6% black.

Alabama Presidential Election Results 2016.svg
Alabama Presidential Election Results 2016, Wikipedia, US gov – derivative work: Ali Zifan.

In 2016, Alabama voted 62.08% for President Trump, and 34.36% for Hillary Clinton. Like most states, there is a rural/urban split, with Montgomery and Birmingham voting for Clinton, but like Mississippi there is a black majority in the rural historic cotton counties, the rich-soil agriculture region that belts the south-central counties of the state. In Mississippi it’s the Delta along the Mississippi River. In Alabama it’s the Black Belt. Where 150 years ago the majority of residents were slaves, 150 years later the majority of the residents are black.

*

I have never been a particularly devout alumnus of the University of Texas. I don’t belong to Texas Exes or go to football games or answer the phone when the fundraising calls come in from Austin, but still, from time to time I check the football scores, and if I ever drive cross-country I’m going to stick the largest longhorn I can find on my rear window out of a strange mix of perversity and pride. Kris went to Rice, so her experience doesn’t really embrace the goofy. Hook ’em.

On the way out of town Sunday morning downtown Montgomery was deserted except for one family, African American, standing on a corner looking mildly lost Two were wearing burnt orange tee shirts and one of the tee shirts was clearly decorated with a white longhorn. I was overcome, rolled down the car window, flashed the hook ‘em horns hand sign and screamed hook ‘em! They were startled for a second, long enough for it to dawn on me just how stupid I was being, and how a black family in Alabama might not expect friendly gestures yelled from passing cars by white guys, but then all four of them flashed the hook ‘em horns sign and yelled hook ‘em! I was feeling pretty satisfied.

Except that Kris was beating on me, not just any mild sort of beating either. She was pounding on my shoulder just as hard as she could.

“Why did you yell fuck ‘em at those people!”

*

Earlier in May the Alabama legislature approved legislation that effectively banned abortion in the state. Alabama was followed by Missouri and Georgia. I think Louisisana’s legislation is on the governor’s desk.

I get it. Abortion is a difficult issue, and it should be. In Roe v. Wade the Supreme Court didn’t conclude that these questions are no-brainers, and that the litigants were wasting their time. I’ve been mulling the issues raised in my undergraduate Philosophy 101: Moral Philosophy: Abortion class for 40-odd years. It is an extraordinarily subtle and morally ambiguous question, which I admit I weigh out for the most part on the side of women’s rights, but there was a particularly gleeful screw-you totalitarian current to the Alabama vote that seemed to have more to do with political positioning than a thoughtful moral stance.

By happenstance after the trip a Republican congressman who I particularly like visited our office. He was not optimistic for his party for 2020, though he, a Republican in one of the most Democratic districts in the country, named a litany of party failures. He noted that 30% of the 2020 voters would be millennials, and that their first concern is climate change. Ok, climate change and college debt. He talked about the failure of both parties to adopt a sensible immigration policy, and how if legislation wasn’t adopted before the fall it wouldn’t get done because the parties needed it as an electioneering punching bag.

He said that in 2018 his party had lost 20% of its educated suburban women voters. He asked if we could think of what the party had done to recover that vote. “Georgia and Alabama,” I said. I forgot Missouri and Kentucky and Louisiana. It wasn’t only a mean-spirited choice by the states, it was a choice that given the 2018 election and what’s coming for the Republican Party in 2020 was incredibly naive.

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Notwithstanding what goes on in the capitol building, Montgomery is a pleasant place to visit. We did lots of stuff in our short stay: ate at a recommended restaurant, Central, saw part of a Montgomery Biscuits baseball game and even better went shopping in the Biscuits’ store, the Basket, and instead of donuts had excellent Sunday morning biscuits, the baked good not the ballplayers, at Cahawba. We also visited The National Memorial for Peace and Justice, the national African-American lynching monument. It’s reminiscent of the Vietnam monument in Washington, and is incredibly effective.

It’s the African American lynching monument, but it’s probably worth noting that not all lynching victims were black. In the period from 1882 to 1968 there were more than 1200 white victims, and more than 3400 black. Most African American lynchings were in the South. There were 347 recorded lynchings in Alabama: 299 African American and 48 white victims. Mississippi lynched 589 African Americans. Texas lynched 352 African Americans (and 141 whites, though that number is likely to include Mexican Americans). The monument signage says that African American lynchings included levels of torture and brutality that were generally not part of white lynchings, though I suspect South Texas Mexican Americans might raise issue with that. Black lynchings in the South were in part, maybe in big part, to control political authority, and in part to enforce the codes of racial etiquette that were thought to be required for a moral society. Irony is so ironic.

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The University of Alabama is in Tuscaloosa, 80 miles north and east of Selma. We didn’t make it to Tuscaloosa, but we did drive from Montgomery to Selma on Sunday morning. Selma could be a graceful Southern town, with pretty churches and handsome early houses, but it’s not. Driving around it looks beat up and ragged, with a lot of public housing and a lot of boarded businesses.

When we got home I talked to a young friend, a graduate of the University of Alabama, who said Tuscaloosa would look just like Selma if it weren’t for the University and the Mercedes plant. Would you put your Mercedes plant in Selma? Sometimes it seems the sites of such extraordinary racial conflict never really recover, and whatever the notions are 50 years later the places are still battlegrounds. I felt sorry for Selma, black and white, but I wouldn’t put my Mercedes plant there.

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Floating the Tallapoosa on the long Memorial Day weekend there were other users, though it was never crowded. Where roads, not much more than tracks really, came down to the river through the hardwoods there were bank encampments of families and friends. They could be pretty elaborate, with multiple tents and pop-up shelters and dogs and children and pickups and boats and every kind of cooking gear imaginable, and, one suspects, plenty of beer. All of it seemed a bit slovenly, but a fun way to fill the weekend. Backwoods is a derogatory term for Alabama whites, like cracker in Florida and Georgia, or hillbilly in Arkansas, or redneck for anywhere in the South, and we were clearly in the backwoods. Our guide Craig made jokes but said they were his people, and I reckon they were some of my people too, though like I said none of my ancestors have lived in Alabama since before the War. Cousins.

There was an assortment of guys drinking beer and bait fishing where we took out of the river, a big guy came over to tell us all about himself. While Craig was loading the raft he talked, and he talked, and he talked. He told us about the tuna he caught while he was in the merchant marine, and his grandmother’s Irish potato salad, and where in those hills there was gold that could still be found. Craig thought he might have already drunk a bit of beer, but there was also a bit of the Boo Radley about him. Craig said that every time he came off the river there was always some weirdness. There was some weirdness, though the potato salad sounded pretty good. He ate it on Saltines, just like boudin.

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It had been way too long since my last Moon Pie, and in Alabama they were two for a dollar. You can get two Moon Pies and an R.C. Cola for two bucks. Inflation.